Ruined My Life
by AccentFetish
Summary: Mizuki was there in the crowed cheering for her one true love. By night time she wasnt exactly cheering anymore.
1. The Rape

Okay so wouldn't let me update new a chapter for another story and it almost drove me insane. I even wrote about it in this one get to know you thing my teacher gave me. (Don't ask.) But today it finally worked!  But I already made this chapter super long… well I guess I'll have to see what I'm gonna do about that. I don't think that I've ever written this much on the computer for one chapter in such a short amount of time. Maybe I'm getting faster at typing! I can type 19 minuets a minuet according to my computer tech class last year. I think I've improved, but not as much as my friend. She can type 90 words a minuet sometimes. I could never get that good. Opps I'm boring you guys with my ramblings, sorry!

Disclaimer- Don't own Hana-Kimi… except for the books I bought using up all my money.

It was time for the big high jump competition of the year. Both Sano and Kagurazaka were entered in it. Everyone tried to guess who would win between the two knowing that no one else even had a chance.

Mizuki waited for Sano outside of the locker room, hoping to give an encouraging word before it was time for him to jump. He was the last to leave and almost didn't see her when he left.

"Sano!" she called. He turned around and smiled. She was holding one of those squishy hands that said number one on it. "I wanted to say good luck before you jump and that I'll cheer for you even if you do lose." "Thanks Ashiya." He said running out to the field.

She made her way to the bleachers where she took her seat next to Nakatsu and Noe. "Couldn't we have gotten better seats?" she complained. "I can hardly see anything!" "Hey! I had to wait three hours in line to get these seats!" Nakatsu said. "Three hours? So that's where you were that whole time. I thought that Sano got us these seats." Sekime said.

Mizuki shook her head. "They didn't give him any tickets for friends. This is a charity event. Everyone has to pay for themselves." She searched the field for her roommate. He was doing some practice runs while some of the other guys stretched.

The field was filled with athletes running around. No one was standing still, at least not anyone she saw. She saw a bunch of guys from every school in the area but no one from Tokyo High.

"Hey, where's Kagurazaka? I can't find him or anyone else from his school down there." Nakatsu quickly scanned the field. "You're right. Maybe he decided not to show up. Probably too scarred to be beaten by Sano when he talks so big."

Nanba showed up just then sliding into an empty seat nearby. "Hey Nanba, what's up?" Mizuki asked cheerfully as always. "Hey." He looked around. "Did you guys here what happened in the parking lot?" he asked looking as if he had just been up all night.

They all shook there heads. "Oh, they're probably trying to keep this off of the record…" he mumbled to himself. "Why what happened?" Noe asked. The RA shook his head. "The guys from Tokyo High were attacked. A bunch of guys tried to cut them up before they could compete. I was coming here late and they tried to hit me thinking I was one of them."

All four friends looked like they didn't believe his story. "Sure, and you probably saved them single handedly too. Save your hero stuff for the ladies, man." Nakatsu said laughing. Nanba pulled up the sleeve of his T-shirt showing them a large band aid that blood had soaked through.

"Someone really doesn't want them in the competition." Sekime said. Mizuki instantly feared for Sano. 'If they attacked Kagurazaka then they might attack Sano! Cool down, Sano's on the field. No one would attack him everyone could see.' The thought mad her feel better.

"But the Tokyo guys are real stubborn. They still insist on jumping. One of there guys was sent to the hospital but the others have decided to compete in his name. Makoto Kagurazaka I think it is. He gave the medics on hell of fight though. If he hadn't passed out from blood loss they might have never gotten him to the hospital."

'Oh no! He's in the hospital? Poor Kagurazaka… Despite his big mouth he can be kind hearted sometimes. That one summer he really showed kindness to me. I know, after the competition I'll go visit him.' She thought with a smile.

A few minuets later the games began. Sano dominated the high jump and won first place with ease. The guys from Tokyo High made a big commotion about how if Makoto had been there he wouldn't have won and how the trophy wasn't rightfully his. Sano just brushed them off as he entered the locker room.

Mizuki and the rest of the guys waited for him to get out. "Congratulations!" they all said in unison. He partly smiled. Nanba starred at him for a moment making him feel uncomfortable even though he didn't show it.

"So, how do you feel about all the Tokyo guys giving you crap?" he finally asked not averting his gaze. "I was actually really surprised. I didn't think that anyone like Kagurazaka that much. I thought all his team mates hated him." He shrugged.

Nanba nodded as if accepting his answer. "Come on! This deserves a celebration! Let's go have some fun!" Nakatsu said holding up Sano's newly won trophy. Noe and Sekime shook there heads. "There are a bunch of girls hanging around here and we want to scope them out a bit." They both said running off.

Nanba also declined. "I have a date tonight. I have to get ready before I go to pick her up." Mizuki smiled up sweetly. "I'll celebrate but I was going to visit Kagurazaka at the hospital first. You two go ahead and I'll catch up." She said.

"Okay Mizuki but don't be late! We'll be that new bar near the school." Nakatsu said pulling away a reluctant Sano. She wanted to go out with them but new she had to see Makoto first so she wouldn't feel guilty about not seeing him when he was hurt. Hailing a cab she went off to the hospital.

She walked up confidently to the front desk and asked where Makoto Kagurazaka was. The nurse shook her head and pointed down a nearby hall where loud voices could be heard. Curious Mizuki went to go check it out.

And there it was. Kagurazaka was standing by a hospital bed without a shirt on revealing all the bandages that they had put on his to cover all his wounds. A sling was holding his left arm. A nurse was yelling at him to get back into bed.

"You can't leave!" the nurse shouted trying to block him from his bloody shirt and jacket. "Try and stop me." He said gently pushing her away. "Dammit you do this every time you come here! You're not well you have to stay until your parents come and check you out after the doctor tells you it is okay."

Kagurazaka froze and looked back at the nurse with an evil glare. Right away she realized her mistake and tried to apologize. Mizuki didn't understand what was going on. She stood in the doorway until she was finally noticed by the nurse.

"Excuse me miss, can I help you?" she asked. Mizuki blushed and Kagurazaka tried to hide a smile. "That's no lady, Cornelia. That's Mizuki Ashiya, he goes to Osaka." the nurse apologized for the mistake. "I'll leave you two alone. Make sure he stays in bed." She instructed Mizuki leaving the room.

After the nurse left the room was unsettling silent. The girl found herself starring at the wounds of the high jumper. "They got you good." She said not even realizing she had said it out loud until replied.

"Yeah, dirty basterds. "I could have won the competition but instead they made me come here." she didn't know how o answer because she believed that Sano deserved to have his win. He smiled knowing exactly what she was thinking.

He grabbed his head for a moment sitting down. For the first time she noticed that he was very pale. "Are you okay?" she asked concerned. He nodded. "Yeah I'm fine. Could you hand me my shirt next to you?"

She grabbed the shirt and felt a bit morbid because it was covered all over with his blood. The only evidence that the shirt had once been light blue instead of dark red was a tiny patch of blue on the edge of the sleeves.

She watched him put it on with some difficulty. "Ashiya, could you help me out here?" he asked. She nodded breaking the trace of starring at him struggle with the clothing. Taking the sling off from around his neck she gently lowered her arm helping him put the sleeve on properly.

She watched as he winced when she out it back on around his neck once again. "Getting dressed every morning is going to be hell." He said standing up. "I think that you should really stay sitting. If you move around too much you wounds won't be able to close up and heal properly." Mizuki, the sister of a doctor.

He just shook his head. "I'm fine. They just want me to stay here longer so they can charge more money for there services. There's someone out there who needs that bed more then I do. I have to get out of here." going past her he picked up his jacket and left the room.

A minuet later he stuck his head back in. "You're coming right?" he asked. She smiled following him into the hallway. "I need you to do me a favor. He said. "What?" "Go and sign me out. Pretend to be my sister or something." "I don't think that's a good idea." She said concerned.

"Come on. You if I can get out of bed and walk around then I don't need to stay here. I can heal in my own home thank you very much. I don't need some highly educated rich man telling me whether I can stay or not."

Mizuki looked away for a moment thinking on it. "What about your parents?" she asked remembering his reaction when the nurse had mentioned his parents. "Won't they be worried when they come here looking for you and don't find you?"

He clutched his coat tightly in his hands at the mention of his parents. 'I can't expect him to know. I mean after all I haven't seen him in a long time anyways. Plus why would I ever bother to tell Mizuki? He's the last person I'd tell, right beside that annoying kid who keeps calling me Kagupi.' "They probably don't know that anything ever happened to me." 'Not that they'd care anyways.' He thought scornfully.

Mizuki knew that something was up but didn't press the subject. "Okay I'll sign you out." She finally said. A wide grin was spread across his face. "Thanks princess. I really appreciate it. Could you hurry up though? My nurse might come back at any moment and destroy any chance I have at getting out of this hell whole. I swear she wants me to spend the rest of my life in this place." She saw him playfully shutter at the thought.

Mizuki walked up to the front desk with Kagurazaka watching just around the corner of the hallway. "Hello. I would please like to sign Makoto Kagurazaka out." "Hold on a moment." The nurse said checking a book. She looked up at a nervous Mizuki. "The book says that he isn't to be released for a week. Who are you anyway?"

She gave out a nervous giggle and started to panic. Just then a shoe hit her in the back of the head. "Ouch!" she yelled turning around to see what had hit her. Kagurazaka looked away innocently when the nurse looked at him accusingly but when she turned away he tried to say something to his friend that she couldn't hear the whole thing because he was whispering.

She laughed turning back to the nurse. "I guess shoes get thrown around a lot around here." the nurse didn't see her humor. "Uh well I'm his cousin's husband. There was a family problem and I was asked to bring him home right away." "Aren't you a bit too young to be married?" 'Oh no! I can't believe that I said that! Now I'll never get him out of here!'

"Sign here." the nurse said pointing at the patient release forms. "It really is a shame that you knocked up that poor girl so young and had to marry her. Do you have any idea what kind of lives you could have lived?" another nurse asked who had been getting a file. "No it's not like that…!" Mizuki tried to say before Kagurazaka pulled her away.

"I said say that you're a family friend and that the house caught on fire not that you knocked up my cousin and that there was a family problem. You really are a bad liar." "I've been fooling you haven't I?" she asked. "What did you say?" he asked as they walked out of the hospital. "No nothing!" 'Damn that was close. I thought that I was thinking that. I have to be more careful while around him.'

Kagurazaka looked up that sky then back down at his shirt. "I have to go back to my dorm. Thanks for getting me out princess." With that he headed off in a different direction without waiting to hear her response.

She starred for a long moment before realizing that she was supposed to meet up with Sano and Nakatsu. As she tried to hail a cab she tried to remember where they were supposed to be going anyway.

When she arrived, after visiting 5 other bars first, it was already pretty late and the sun had been down for around an hour. 'This is the time when all the heavy drinkers come out.' She thought to herself.

Before she entered the building Nakatsu came out heatedly. "Nakatsu?" she asked after he slammed the door shut. "Yeah?" he asked instantly calming down when he saw her face. "Is everything okay?" she asked him confused.

He slumped down on the side of the building and held his head in his arms. "You don't want to hear it." He said looking up at her with a face she had never seen him have before, one of complete and utter shock.

"Yes I do. Tell me, please?" he nodded no knowing how to deny her anything that she asked for. "It's Sano. He said some things while he was drunk. And I'm not really sure what to make of them. He's really trashed in there. He's grabbing waitress' asses and talking a boat load of shit."

She leaned against the building with him. She placed a hand on his shoulder urging him to go on but he just winced in pain. "He also threw some cheap punches while I wasn't looking." 'Damn that Izumi! I can't get his words out of my head. "You're so obvious you queer bait. No one really likes you. Noe, Mizuki, and Sekime are only being your friends because they feel sorry for you. Who could ever want something as stupid as you? And you can just forget about Mizuki, she wouldn't want you if you were the last man on earth."'

"He kept on referring to you as 'she' and 'her'. What do you think he meant by it?" she instantly pulled away from him. Anger showed threw her eyes even though her words were calm like everything was normal inside her head. "I'm gonna go inside and see what's up with him. Go on back to the dorms."

She slowly pulled open the door into the bar and felt as if something was stabbing her in the heart. There was Izumi Sano, the man she loved, with some sleazy blond sitting on his lap making out with him.

Not knowing what was coming over her she walked right up tot eh two of them with tear brimmed eyes. "Sano?" she asked weakly, not knowing what to say to him after such a betrayal of her trust.

He opened his eyes ad pulled away from the slut. "Mizuki! How kind of you to finally join us!" he said standing up pushing the girl to the floor. "Hey!" she yelled but he just ignored her.

"I'm so glad that you finally decided to leave that hospital to celebrate with me! Did you give Kagurazaka my best?" the way that he uttered that last words with a drunken slur made her want to slap him right there.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked disgusted. "What could you possibly mean by that? It's my big day; I have a right to have some fun. Plus I thought that maybe now that you're here that we could go back to the dorm." He gave her a perverted look and she finally realized something.

"You knew? You new this whole time!" she yelled furiously slapping him across the face. He only smiled. He grabbed her around the waist and held her close even though she fought his touch. "Common." He said carrying her out of the bar.

The bar was close to the school so he carried her the whole way there. 'This can't be happening!' he thought to herself as he dropped her on his bed. "Sano stop it!" she yelled. "No." he simply said before tapping her mouth shut.

'No! You're supposed to be the one who saves me! You can't be the one who does this to me!' he smiled tying her tot her to the bed as if he read her thoughts. "I saved you with Makita for the same reason he saved you with those other guys. I didn't want anyone else getting to you first. Why else would I have kept you secret for so long? I needed the timing to be perfect."

And then it happened. The one thing that Mizuki thought could never happen did. Her one true love raped her in his bed. She cried the whole time before he finally fell asleep. 'I was so stupid to trust him. This isn't right. I should never have come here for him. It's all my fault.'

While Sano slept guilt free she broke free of her ties and ran out of the room, only wearing a pair of his boxer shorts. She kept running like she had never run before. She didn't know where she was going but she didn't care.

She found herself outside of Tokyo High when she finally stopped. She ran into the dorm building and banged on every door frantically screaming Kagurazaka's name. Every guy came out of there room and pinched themselves to see if they were dreaming. There was a very hot girl with no top on screaming for Kagurazaka.

No one did anything but just starred until she finally found the right door. Kagurazaka opened his door irritably rubbing his eye. "Mizuki?" he asked seeing her. He looked down and then froze. "Who are you?" he asked.

She could only cry when she saw him. He looked outside into the hall passed her and saw every other guy that he went to school with and pulled Mizuki into his dorm. He picked up a shirt from his drawer and threw it at her.

He waited patiently for her to stop crying and finally talk to him. "It was Sano." She said wiping her eyes finally. "What was Sano?" he asked confused. "And why are you a girl. No I mean why did you pretend to be a guy?"

"I wanted to meet Sano so I pretended to be a guy to go to his school. He raped me Kagurazaka." He could tell that it was hard for her to get the words out. He didn't look shocked or angry but shook his head. He put his arms around her for a hug. "Ka…" "Shhh, don't speak. It'll all be okay. Don't worry."

Mizuki felt weird in his arms. They weren't the incredible sense of safety that she had felt once with Sano but it wasn't bad. He knew exactly what to do when she felt like she was going to start to cry again. In the middle of the night she fell asleep in Kagurazaka's dorm.

When she woke up the next morning she wasn't sure where she was. She started to panic when she realized that she want in her dorm or with her vest on but then the memories of last night came rushing back. "Why me?" she asked in a whisper.

Not too long after she woke up Kagurazaka came back into the room with a ruler mark on his face. "What happened to you!" she asked alarmed. "Well I thought that it was against the law to harm the students but apparently I was wrong. You'd think that the principal would have given me some compassion since I was just in the hospital but apparently not."

She rushed over to him to take a good look at the mark. "What did you do?" she asked running her finger over his face. "Uh, nothing really. One of the ass wholes in the rooms nearby said that I got some naked girl in my room which I said was completely absurd. I mean when you stopped by last night you had on a pair of boxers."

He smiled. "Forget about it." He said when she looked like she was going to apologize. "It's just another injury to add to my collection. I was probably gonna get in trouble from something else latter on anyways." 'He's being so kind to me right now. I feel really bad for getting him in trouble.'

"How come," she questioned. "You know exactly what to do to make me feel better?" his smile faded as he sat down on a chair letting he go back to the bed. "My sister, the one the used to love Sano, she was raped. I was the only one she would tell. I guess that's why my parents hate me now."

"Why would they hate you? It's not your fault!" he shook his head. "Mizuki, she killed herself. They blame me for not telling them. But she swore that if I did tell them then she would kill herself. They don't see how I had no choice. My parents disowned me and if I hadn't gotten a scholarship to go here they would have done whatever they could to get me kicked out. They won't let me see Kyomi ever again." He paused and smiled. "I wouldn't be surprised if they had been the ones to hire those guys yesterday."

Even though he was completely calm and was laughing about his situation she could tell how it was killing him on the inside. "I couldn't protect my sister." She was shocked when his voice seemed choppy and that his eyes watered. "Promise that you won't do the same?"

Mizuki felt her own eyes water. "I promise." He gave her a sad smile. "I guess I'm just a big wimp. I'm supposed to make you feel better not be acting all emotional and shit." He wiped his eyes. "Common and get dressed. I'm gonna buy you breakfast."

"I don't have any cloth." She said looking down at her own attire. "Well um… are you a guy or girl today? I think I have some of my old girlfriends' stuff." She smiled. "I haven't been a girl since my brother last visited. It would be nice."

He pulled out a box fro his closet and then looked at Mizuki. "What size do you wear?" he asked. She was sort of startled by the question. "Um… I think that I'm a size 3." (Ha! She's so lucky. I could never fit into a size 3.) He nodded and pulled out a few more boxes until he found the one he was looking for.

"Sharon Hicks. She stayed here for the summer and was my last girlfriend. When we broke up she got sort of mad and threw all her stuff at me. Now I have them in a box in my closet. Am I the only one who thinks that that's sort of sad?" she shook her head. "Back in America I have a friend named Julia. Whenever she goes through a breakup she sleeps with something of that guy's under her pillow."

She walked over there and looked in his closet. It was filled with boxes with different girl's names on them. "But I don't think that she ever got this bad." "Ha ha you're so funny." He said sarcastically. "Hurry up and get dressed so we can go. I'm starving."

She picked out some cloth from the box and went into the bathroom to change. She had on a pair of tight jeans and a black turtleneck belly shirt. She walked out of the bathroom with an uncomfortable look on her face. "Sorry princess all her shirts are like that and I never dated a size 3 ever again." "Well do you think that you could go out real quick and date one to get me a good shirt?" she asked making him laugh.

"Come on most places stop serving breakfast when it's past twelve. Hurry up." "Okay I'm going!" she said looking around the box for another slipper that she had found. "Got it!" she said holding up the slipper, victory style.

He left the dorm last and locked the door. A few teachers looked at him disappointedly as put his hand on Mizuki's shoulder so they wouldn't get separated on the busy streets. Some guy accidentally elbowed Kagurazaka in one of his wounds when walking by.

The teen kneeled over grabbing his side. "Are you okay?" Mizuki asked worried. He bit his lip before responding. "Yeah, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'm a survivor." he gave her a wink straitening out and continued walking.

'And that's the mystery of Kagurazaka.' Mizuki thought catching up to him. 'He'll consol you when you're down but will ignore his own pain for he benefit of another person. He's sweeter then he'll let anyone know. It must be hard having everyone hate him. Even his own parents don't want anything to do with him. Maybe I ended up coming to him last night for a reason. Maybe I'm supposed to save him, save him like he saved me last night." Mizuki's the true believer that everything happens for a reason.

She was snapped back from her own thoughts when Kagurazaka punched her in the shoulder. "Owe! What was that for?" she rubbed her shoulder and he started to laugh. "Sorry princess but if you had been paying attention the waiter wants to know what you'll have." "Oh." She said picking up a menu. "The all American breakfast sounds good." She said.

"Mizuki?" "Kagurazaka?" they both said at the same time. "You go first." She said. "Okay. I was just wondering why you came to me last night. I mean we were never really friends. Yesterday was the first time that I had seen you in a very long time." She nodded understanding why he was confused.

"When he fell asleep I just ran away. I didn't even really notice where I was until I found myself knocking on every dorm room in your hall." He nodded. "You're turn." She looked out of the window. "I was just going to ask you how come you're being so nice and happy all of the sudden. I don't think that I've ever seen you this happy."

He smiled. "Well all it takes is a good hospital visit to the emergency to make me all school girl happy for a month." She watched him play with the salt and pepper shakers. "I get injured, a lot. Especially when I was little. It would take me hours to show you all my scars. I guess I'm a little weird but I feel this great adrenaline rush when I'm hurt and it keeps me happy for a long turn. I think that there's some sort of sickness for that but whatever."

"Well everyone has there strange quirks about them. "Kayashima is only happy when it thunderstorms. He even spends the whole day outside even if there is a chance he'll get struck by lightning. And then he gets theses massive colds. And Noe will deprive himself of sleep just to watch certain anime on TV after everyone else is asleep. He completely failed a test because he fell asleep while taking it. He said that a big marathon was on the night before. And Sano, he'll work himself…" 'Oh, I just made myself sad.' Kagurazaka didn't say anything and she knew he understood.

"It's gonna take you a long time before you can come to peace about what he's done to you, maybe never. All I want to know is how you're going to still go to school or be his roommate. Who knows, he might try and expose you for blackmail. That dirty little bastered will do anything, Mizuki. What are you going to do?" she could feel how worked about this he was.

When the food came she just shrugged her shoulders. "I never thought about that. It's not fair how Sano has found yet another way to ruin my life. Isn't it enough that he has to be my first kiss, my first time, and my first protector to hurt me? I hate him!" she was crying again when she finished speaking.

Kagurazaka sat on her side of the table and tried to give her a comforting hug. Trying to ignore the people's stares he wrapped his arms around her but to his surprise she pushed him away.

He looked into her eyes and he found that they were filled with terror. He grabbed onto her shoulders sternly and looked her in the eye. "Mizuki! Get a hold of yourself! I'm not Sano and I will never hurt you." 'This is the same thing I had to do with Tamami. I remember that it made me feel like I was training a dog because I couldn't blink. It always worked when she went into a trance like this one. She's remembering last night. If this is anything like what happened with Tamami then she'll do this a lot.'

Mizuki starred for a moment looking confused then looked down only crying harder. "I'm sorry Kagurazaka. Please excuse me. I have to go." She pulled away from his grasp and ran out the door. "Damn!" he yelled slamming his fist against the table.

He went to go run after her but the waiter stopped him to pay the bill. He just threw his wallet at the man and yelled, "Keep the change!" as he ran out after her. 'She can't be out by herself! What could have possibly made her think that it was okay for a beautiful girl like her to go out after she was just raped in that outfit all alone!'

The crowds of people on the street were too big and he couldn't see her at all. "Where would she go? I don't her enough to do this alone… Damn it I have to get that jack ass!" Kagurazaka said moving in the direction of Osaka High School.

Okay well this is extremely long. I'm really sorry if I bored you to death with the length of the chapter. I know I could never read the whole thing even if I thought it was the best story n the world. Oh well, if you made it this far and bothered to read the whole story lease review. I promise none of the other chapters will be as long. (I don't think I could do that.)


	2. The House

Okay so the story was liked! And I lied about my typing getting better. It took me like ten minuets to type that first sentence but I'm sick so I have an excuse. I have no ramblings to day…

Disclaimer- I don't own Hana-Kimi but I own my mind so ha!

Sano woke up that morning late. His head hurt really badly and he could only remember parts of the night before. He had the symptoms of a major hangover. He woke up naked and with ropes in his bed, he could not even imagine how that happened.

Mizuki wasn't there and her bed hadn't been slept in all night. 'What happened to her? The last thing I remember was that she went to go visit Kagurazaka in the hospital. What if something happened to her on the way there? I should have gone with her to protect her!'

He quickly got dressed and went out into the hall. He was going to get Nakatsu to come and help him find his roommate. When he knocked on the room next door he heard someone say, "Come in!" In an annoyed voice.

Doing as Kayashima had said he entered. "Where's Nakatsu?" Sano asked the boy who was trying a ritual to contact the dead. "He went somewhere with the guy from Tokyo High. He said that it was something really important and didn't even let him get dressed. Nakatsu's walking around town in a pair of boxers only!" Kayashima laughed at the thought of his roommate being hit on by strange women. Sano didn't find anything funny and just left.

'Kagurazaka was here? Maybe she did get to the hospital okay. What did that bastered do to her? I swear I'll kill him if she's harmed in anyway.' He furiously swore to himself. Sano ran off in the direction of his rival's school.

When he got there he asked one of the boys where his dorm was. He was surprised by the boys answer. "Makoto? His dorm is right next to mine; I'll show you the way. Last night some naked girl came into our hall screaming his name. She went into his dorm and no one saw her leave until morning. Well I guess someone has to love that guy. I think he's most hated in the whole school and that's really saying something."

Sano froze. "What?" he asked out loud. 'She wouldn't do that. Why would she come here? And to him? Why would she come with no cloth on!' When the boy left Sano knocked as loud as he could on the door.

When no one answered he kicked open the door. His hands were balled up into fists as he entered the room. He looked around and found no one was home. On the floor nearby him there was a box of girls' cloth that looked like they would fit Mizuki. He looked over n the bed and found a pair of his own underpants. "I don't understand." He whispered turning to leave.

Meanwhile Kagurazaka was in the park telling Nakatsu as much information as he felt like he needed to. "So where is he?" the bleach head asked. (I'm so nice.) "That's what I got you for. You know her… I mean "him" better. Go do your stuff and find him."

Nakatsu looked at him skeptically. "So why would Mizuki come all the way over to your school if I'm just next door?" "I don't know. He said that he was just running and that he didn't know he was where he was until I did. Are you gonna help or no?" "I will just one more question. What did Sano do that was so bad? I know he was drunk last night but still."

Kagurazaka sighed knowing that the only lie he would was the truth. "Sano raped Mizuki." It was as simple as that. Nakatsu just stared to see if he was kidding but he wasn't. "But Mizuki is a guy!" 'Yeah, a guy that looks like a girl.' His inner self told him.

"No, Mizuki is a girl." He waited for the half naked teenager to respond but he didn't. He had on a face of complete nothingness that made him seem older then he really was. It was as if someone had taken an eraser and erased all the emotions that normally shoed on his face. And then a second later he burst out laughing.

Kagurazaka sighed and waited for the sudden outburst of laughter to end. "That was a good one. I never thought you would be the one to got his far out for a joke." Makoto hit him in the head. "I'm not kidding you dimwit! If you really think of it, it makes perfect sense. I mean you see her everyday. How could no one but Sano have noticed that she was an imposter among all guys?"

Nakatsu starred for a long moment then gulped. "Mizuki's a girl? And Sano raped her?" Anger showed clearly on the teens face. "I'll kill him!" Kagurazaka rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah now can you help me find Mizuki or not?" "Of course I will! Too bad Sano knows him… err her… the best."

The two teens sat in the park thinking of places there friend could have gone. "Hey sexy!" A woman said walking towards Nakatsu. "What are you doing outside on a day like this? You should be inside letting me make you into a man." Nakatsu shuttered when he saw her up close. "Nice buns!" she complemented grabbing his butt. He let out a scream jumping back words.

"Hey lady! Ever heard of a thing called personal space!" She pouted. "What you don't like me? Oh well. I did see this cute girl come by here earlier. I brought her back to my place if you want to see her." Nakatsu looked disgusted. "Listen lady I don't want any of your prostitutes!" Kagurazaka thought for a moment then asked, "What does she look like?" The other teen looked surprised. "This is no time to be thinking of you, Kagupi!" "Shut it!"

The lady looked impressed by the authority in his voice. "Well she's a small thing. Real skinny and short. Her hair's short and light brown. And she has a scar on her thumb." 'Scar?' "That's Mizuki!" Nakatsu yelled not aware that he had said it out loud.

"Mizuki? The tramp said her name was Shari. You guys want o check her out?" "She's our friend and something terrible has just recently happened to her…" "I don't care. You want to see her or not?" they both nodded. The lady led them all the way to the other side of town. She was disgusted at the thought of taking a cab so they walked the whole way.

They finally reached a beat up old house that was in the middle of nowhere. The house was large but it had broken windows and the paint was starting to peal. 'I didn't even know that some people even lived in this part of town still. I would have thought that everyone moved out a long time ago.' Nakatsu thought entering the house after the lady.

The inside was nothing like the out. It was nice and elegant and looked like the inside of one of those old mansions. A bunch of girls in skimpy little outfits were all over the house just hanging out. But once they saw that there were some boys in the house they all started to try and look seductive in order to get some business that night. No one had visited the house as of late and the money was running out.

"Chill out ladies!" The woman said stopping in what looked like the parlor. "These men are here to see there friend. Apparently the new girl does have somebody to take her home after all." All the girls giggled as if there was some kind of inside joke that only Kagurazaka and Nakatsu were only unaware of.

"I'll go get here!" An egger brunette said. She was short and sort of pudgy but in a cute way. She only wore a bra top and a short skirt. Kagurazaka watched as she ran up some stairs and couldn't help but wonder how Mizuki ended up here. He also couldn't help wonder how come he had never heard of this place before. Not lie he would ever be interested in buying sex but it unnerved him that there was a place in "his" town that he did now know of.

A few moments later Nakatsu started freaking out about how all the girls were looking at him. It was like they were saying, "Hey you're hot. Want to help us raise money by sleeping with us?" "Let me borrow your jacket." He whispered to Kagurazaka.

The high jumper looked disgusted by the thought of letting him use his jacket. "No way!" "Come on! You didn't let me get dressed earlier and the lady who brought us here is giving me he creeps!" he pleaded. "Fine!" Makoto said sighing. He took off his jacket carefully, trying not to hurt himself in the process.

After he had on the jacket all the girls started to pout knowing that there was no way that they would get there money today. The woman who had leaded them the whole way there told them to sit and got another girl to get them drinks. They were all wondering what was taking so long.

Finally they saw the cheery brunette come back down the stairs almost skipping and then Mizuki came behind her rubbing the sleep out of her eye. "She fell asleep in the attic. This one doesn't wake up for anything!" the brunette reporting getting to the group before Mizuki even noticed that there was one.

Nakatsu's jaw dropped to the ground. He had imagined this so many times before and Kagurazaka had told him that she was a girl but seeing the proof with his own too eyes was still so shocking. "Nakatsu? Nakatsu!" she yelled running up to him and giving him a huge hug.

He could feel his face redden as he stupidly wrapped his arms around her back. "Awe!" Came the rest of the girls. "Mizuki… I can't believe it." He held her at arms length and just starred. "Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have told anyone! I could have been there for you."

She looked to Kagurazaka shyly before she answered. 'He already filled him in, I guess… I feel like such an idiot for running away like that.' She thought. "I'm sorry Nakatsu. I didn't tell anyone. I guess you're mad at me now, right?" he shook his head. 'If I had found out on other terms then maybe but you need everyone's love right now.' "I couldn't be mad at you now even his you killed me."

Some of the girls "awed" again while Kagurazaka could only fight off the urge to barf. "That was lamest thing that I ever heard. You're so cheesy!" "Oh yeah!" "Yeah!" the two started to fight but Mizuki didn't care. It just felt good to be around people that she knew again.

She smiled as there fight just kept on going on and on. Finally she couldn't help but laugh about how angry they were becoming. "What's so funny?" Kagurazaka asked a bit irritated. "No nothing really." Another girl shook her head. "Yeah, of course she's laughing. Do you two even listen to yourselves? You're like three year olds. I mean you might as well be calling each other poop heads."

The girl who had spoken had long blond hair. She was skinny enough to almost see her ribs. She had ling slender legs. She was sitting on the couch arm rest across from them. She was wearing a black leather skirt with a top to match. Kagurazaka just starred feeling even more annoyed then before. He had just wanted to make sure that Mizuki was okay but now he just wanted to go home, or deck Nakatsu. Either option worked for him.

"And what would be a more efficient form of fighting for you?" Nakatsu asked actually curious. The brunette from before smiled really big. "In the house there's only one way for men to settle there conflicts. When two visitors fight over a girl they must battle it out like men in the backyard!" she said excited.

"We're not fighting over a girl!" Makoto said. "I don't want her!" "You just keep thinking that." The lady said. (Oh her name's Ms. Lady by the way. I'm just so good with names. lol.) "Fine, this kid's been on my nerves for a long time anyways." Nakatsu nodded. "I've always waned to take you down. You and your big mouth."

Mizuki seemed a bit unsure. "I'm I don really think that it's necessary." She said. One of the girls next to her shook her head. "Of course it is! It's an honor to have guys fight for you in the house. Plus it's the only time that the guys are the ones doing the entertainment." "I'm still not sure of this." Mizuki said as her two friends went out to the back in order to fight each other. All the girls followed. She felt uneasy but went along with them.

That's chapter 2! In the next chapter you will see how the fight between Kagurazaka and Nakatsu goes and where Sano ended up in his search to find his roommate. Tell me what you think and review! Hope you like it!


	3. Osaka or Tokyo

Third chapter… Yay!

Disclaimer- I don't own anything anime besides the graphic novels that I bought from Walden's Books. Everything else is just way too expensive.

Mizuki was in the back of the crowd of girls who had all wanted to see the "big" fight. 'I hope that they don't hurt each other.' She was thinking worriedly. 'I mean I just got Kagurazaka out of the hospital yesterday. Hey wait a second!' she just remembered something that was very important and pushed herself through the crowd of girls.

The two teens weren't doing anything really except looking around to see if someone would tell them when to start. "Kagurazaka!" Mizuki called stepping into the area that was left for the two to fight. "How can you fight?" she asked. "You were just cut up yesterday. If he punched you in the cut or if you move the wrong way you'll be sent right back to the hospital."

He smiled at her the way boys do when you caught them doing something wrong. "That's right I forgot." He said laughing. Nakatsu just starred at him. "How can you forget?" he asked. "Hey watch it! I can still take you down, even if I'm hurt!"

Mizuki shook her head and turned towards the girls. "Sorry ladies. They can't fight today. Maybe when this one," she said pointing to Makoto. "Has healed then they can comeback and put on a show for you guys."

The girls were all pouting as they all went back inside the house. "Can we go home now?" she asked her two friends. They both nodded. They said there goodbyes to the prostitutes and started to walk until they reached an area that they could catch a cab in.

"So how'd you end up there?" Nakatsu asked curious. "Oh well I was in the park and I was kind of lost. I didn't want to go back tot eh dorms and I don't know anyone else in Japan. That's when Ms. Lady found me and offered me a place to sleep."

She sighed and looked out the window. "I didn't know that the place to sleep was someplace like that though. But some of the girls were really nice. Some of them knew exactly what I was going through…" he voice trailed off as she fell asleep on Nakatsu lap.

Kagurazaka looked in the back of the cab and watched as Nakatsu soothingly out his hands threw her hair as she slept. And for some strange reason he felt jealous of the soccer player for being the one that she trusted enough to fall asleep on. He felt jealous for him being the one that she could be around without getting freaked even though it was him who took care of her just the night before.

He grinded his teeth together as he turned back towards the road. The cab driver looked like he was about to burst out laughing because of some guys stupid comedy routine on the radio.

"So we'll just be going back to Osaka." Nakatsu said softly so he wouldn't wake up the girl sleep on his lap. "No, we're going back to Tokyo." Kagurazaka corrected. "Why? Mizuki lives and goes to Osaka High. She'll be safe there with me."

The high jumper shook his head. "No Sano goes to Osaka. She's better off with me at Tokyo. She's not ready to see him again." Nakatsu didn't answer he just looked down at the girl he loved sweetly. "She'll be safe with me. I have all my classes with her and she can stay in my dorm, I'm used to sleeping on the floor anyways."

Makoto was getting a bit agitated. "If she felt safe with you then how come she didn't come to you last night?" he knew the answer to his own question and it was the opposite of the one he was implying towards the teen.

"She wasn't thinking," he decided after a long moment of thinking it over. "She knows that she can always count on me. I've saved her before. And if it comes down to it ill do it again. Sano won't be able to get her through me."

Kagurazaka just shook his head and pointed in the direction of his own school for the driver to follow. The soccer player didn't even notice he was too busy making sure Mizuki was 100 comfortable.

"How will you be paying?" asked the cab driver. The high jumper got out of the car and handed him a few bills. "Come on Osaka get out of the car." Nakatsu gave him a dirty glare as he carried Mizuki the way heroes carried the damsel in distress as he got out of the cab.

"Why are we here?" he asked looking around at the mostly deserted campus of Tokyo High. "I told you that she would be safe here. Just hand her over and go home." Nakatsu looked appalled by the idea. "No way in hell Kagupi. I'm staying with Mizuki."

Kagurazaka let out a sigh of frustration. "Look, I can handle her. Unlike you I know how to deal with a girl in her position." "Oh, yeah right. You would probably take advantage of her! I'm going back to Osaka and I'm taking Mizuki even if that means carrying her the whole way!"

He felt the small teen start to wake in his arms. Her eyes opened slowly and she looked up at Nakatsu with sleepy eyes. "What's going on?" she asked as he set her down on the ground. "Nothing." Kagurazaka stated simply enough.

"Would you rather stay here or back with me in my dorm room?" Nakatsu asked directly. She looked between her two friends. "You're not ready to go back there." She heard Kagurazaka say but she knew that he just needed to keep an eye on her, to see if she would keep to her promise to him.

"I'll be there to protect you Mizuki. We have class tomorrow and you can't flunk school. I won't anyone hurt you." 'Nakatsu has a point.' She thought. "I'll be fine. I can go back." Kagurazaka's mouth opened up as if to say something but then he just shut it, his eyes showed anger and a bit of pain.

"Fine, but don't come running to me when something bad happens because I told you so." He started to walk away and Mizuki couldn't say anything. "Let's go. We can walk from here." she nodded as they both walked away together.

'I'm sorry Kagurazaka but I should try and live my life as normal as I can right now. Nakatsu is the one who can do that for me. You don't have to worry, I'm in good hands.' She thought as she felt a sense of loss in a strange way.

When her school campus came into view her whole body grew tense. She tightly squeezed onto her friends arm and he whispered comforting words to her until she felt better again. As they walked past her and Sano's room she noted that the lights were off. 'He's not home. I wonder where he is.'

That is the end of chapter three. While writing this chapter I kept on picturing everything happening at night time but it was day time just to make it clear. I really whish it could have been night time though…


	4. You raped her

I got two stories going on at once, this is a first. I normally drive myself crazy until I finish a story before starting another. Oh well this might be a challenge… something I totally do not need since we're staring the MEAP's on Monday. So don't expect fast updates.

Disclaimer- I swear these things are pointless and I wonder if anyone really cares what you put. Hey everybody! I own Hana-Kimi! What're you gonna do about it? No just kidding I'm just in a bad mood. In case I write something I don't want to int his anger I'll just stop writing for now.

When Kagurazaka got to his room he noticed that it had been forced open. He looked around and saw Sano sitting on his bed staring angrily in the dark. "What the hell are you doing here!" Kagurazaka asked feeling the need to destroy Sano, even if that meant reopening all his wounds.

"Where is she!" Sano only yelled back. "No way, I'll never let you near her ever again!" Sano stood up and grabbed him by the shirt. "You bastered. What did you do with Mizuki?" "What did I do with her? You're the one who hurt her last night; you're the one who made her come here!"

"What are you talking about!" Sano yelled angry as hell. "You're the one who raped her last night." His eyes grew big for a moment and he stepped away. "You're lying." He accused quieter now. "I would never lie about something like that! You are the worst kind of man there is Izumi, a cold hearted rapist who destroyed the heart of the girl who loved you."

"No!" He screamed at Makoto. "I never touched her! I never did." Sano stepped back a bit more. "She said you did it. Last night she ran in here and told me." Kagurazaka's words were venomous. "She came here wearing these, I suppose there yours." He held up Sano's boxers that had been lying nearby on the floor.

The black haired high jumper fell on the floor and grabbed his head. Memories were flowing back from the night before. He and Nakatsu were at a bar. He had drunk, a lot. He remembered saying things to reveal Mizuki's secrets to Nakatsu and then trying to fight him.

He grimaced as the rest came back. He was kissing some girl on his lap and then Mizuki was there. He took her back to the dorm; he tied her to the bed. 'That explains the ropes.' He thought. Then he remembered with excruciating detail when he forced to have sex with him.

He looked up at Kagurazaka with pleading eyes. "I- I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing." He said in his own defense even though he knew that he should admit his horrible crime against the girl he loved.

"I've been drunk plenty of times. It doesn't excuse you for what you've done to her!" Rage filled his eyes and he kicked Sano in the face. "You dirty bastered! You have no idea how you've ruined her life!" he kept on kicking and the other teen tried to get away but couldn't.

"You deserve to die for what you've done to my sister!" he screamed tears falling from his eyes. "I never touched your sister!" Sano gasped in-between blows. Kagurazaka suddenly stopped and started at his bloody rival in terror.

"Sano…" he couldn't even find the words he just ran. All his wounds ached and his world was completely upside down. He had beat Sano in his dorm for raping Mizuki, or so he had thought. 'I was trying to take revenge for what happened to my sister. I was going to kill him.' He realized.

Nakatsu and Mizuki got back to there dorm building in peace. Mizuki stopped walking and stood in front of her own room, the lights were off inside and there were noised of any kind. 'He's not home. He's not there. Did he think of me today? Is he worried that I left without telling him?' she wondered. Once she realized what she had just thought she thought about slapping herself. She couldn't want things to be okay between them.

"Mizuki?" Nakatsu called her name and she snapped back to reality. You need to get inside before someone sees you dressed as a girl." He sweetly said opening his own dorm room for her to enter. She nodded doing as he said.

'Maybe things would be better if I went to America. I would never have to see Sano again. But then I would never see Nakatsu again. He's been so sweet to me since this al happened.' She had already forgotten that Kagurazaka had been the one for her there first. In her mind there could only be one man there to save her and now that Sano was out of the picture Nakatsu had inherited that job and Makoto had just been pushed out of the picture completely like Nakatsu had been just two days before.

Kayashima just starred at her for a moment then looked back to reading his book. "It's about time you discovered her secret." He noted to Nakatsu sighing. His roommate stared at him. "It's all in the aura isn't it?" he asked. Kayashima nodded. "And I'm starting to learn how to see into the future." He held up his book. "I already packed my stuff and took the liberty to unpack Mizuki's things in here. I was just waiting until you two got back so I could get the new key to the dorm next door.

Mizuki starred for a moment then handed him the key that she had kept as a necklace since she got it. He smiled. "Don't let this dork spy on you in the shower." He added as some words of advice before grabbing some bags and going into his new room.

Nakatsu laughed blushing. "He doesn't really mean that. I mean you don't have to worry about it. I would never invade your privacy. When we first met he could only see things but now he can see into the future and is working on reading minds. He's sort of weird though but a good friend none the less."

She nodded. Mizuki had never really gotten to know Kayashima. That had talked times before but he was never really interested in going to practices or games so they hardly ever saw each other.

"Do you really think that it's safe for me here?" she asked sitting down on the bottom bunk. "You don't have to worry about anything Mizuki, as long as I'm here the only thing you'll have to fear is failing your classes because that's the only thing that I can't help you with." She smiled up at him. 'That's exactly what I wanted to hear.'

Mizuki got out some of her cloth that Kayashima had put in the drawers for her. She changed in the bathroom. It was seven and for the first time that day she didn't feel tired. She washed her face at the sink before going back into the room where Nakatsu sat down on a chair thinking hard.

"What's wrong?" she asked concerned. "It's nothing." He replied regaining his sweet smile that she had seen non stop that while day already. "No really, I can tell something's wrong. I have a woman's intuition." She reminded him sitting on the floor next to him.

"I was just thinking…" 'How I should have stayed when you told me to go. Just thinking about how if I hadn't fallen asleep so quickly I could have heard your screams and saved you. But you don't want to hear this. My thoughts will only bring you down.'

"You were just thing what?" she asked cheerfully reminding him that he had not finished his sentence. "Do you want to go out to eat? You must be hungry." He stood up and grabbed his wallet.

A large grin appeared on her face. "I'm starving! They gave me some food at that house earlier but not very much." He smiled back. "Do you have any money? I don't think that I have enough." Mizuki nodded finding her own wallet on the top bunk.

The two went out to go grab some food. Neither one could have ever thought that Sano could be trying to leave Kagurazaka's where he had been beaten or that Kagurazaka was asleep on his sister's grave.

I never know how to start these author's notes. I'm sick of starting with a cheerful, okay! Or something like that. Oh well I hope you liked the chapter. REVIEW LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!


	5. Sano's evil deeds

I think the people at my school are getting sick of unjamming my locker all of the time. So far there was the time my backpack was in the way and the two days of my friend locking it while it was still open then only partly closing it while I tried to fight her off while getting my home work at the same time. Oh and there was the time I thought it was jammed but I turns out I was using half of my gym locker to open it up. I think the people at the office really want me to get a new one but I don't think I could do it, I love my evil locker.

Disclaimer- I don't own Hana- Kimi if I did then I wouldn't be worrying about how much money I have o spend on graphic novels.

In the morning Kagurazaka awoke to the sun in his eyes. It burned and it took him a while before he could open them. He looked around and cursed when he remembered what had happened in the last tow days.

There he was at his sister's grave taking refuge after beating the man who raped Mizuki. 'My life sucks.' He thought starring at the tombstone. "A loved daughter from her parents and a beloved sister to her sister." it read. He had known that his parents had left him out of the loving message just to get back at him for being the one that she could trust the most.

"My life is screwed up, Tamami. I know you don't wanna hear it but I guess you really don't have a choice. Being dead and all I guess you have to listen to everything. Ever since those ass whole attacked before the competition my life is getting weirder and weirder."

He imagined his little sister sitting there in front of him smiling and waiting for him to finish talking. "Remember Mizuki? Well she's having some problems, kind of like the ones you had. You really liked Sano but I hope you won't anymore. He raped her. Last night I couldn't control myself, I just kicked him and then I couldn't stop myself. I saw him start to bleed but I didn't stop!"

He stopped for a moment and took a long breath. "I came here after that. It's weird with Mizuki, not like it was with you. With you I knew that I was the only one you'd let help you but with her… I don't even think that she remembers that I took care of her that night. Nakatsu is getting to be her hero. I don't know its stupid but I sort of feel jealous."

He knew what his sister would have said if she couldn't answer him. "Jealous? Makoto, I can't believe you. You've never been the person to pine over some girl! Especially if she's with some guy who you could take on and throw away in a second. The Makoto I know would fight for a girl, even if it was just going to be a week thing."

The truth was the two had never really gotten along before but they had there moments. When Tamami became jealous after Kyomi was born he had given her some tips on not looking like a total brat to everyone. Some tips he promised would work because he had used them himself on her.

"And now I feel like an idiot for sitting here trying to talk to you. Take care of yourself in heaven and don't let the Buddhists bring you down up there." His sister had changed her faith not too long before ending her own life. He went back to his dorm to shower and get ready for classes, he was late already.

After Kagurazaka had left the dorm the night before Sano managed to stand up despite the surge of pain each breath caused him. He walked away as if nothing happened, and if it wasn't for the blood no one would have been the wiser.

While going back to Osaka he collapsed and couldn't get back up again. Some old woman going on a moonlit walk found him lying on the side walk and called for help. He had been rushed to the hospital; Kagurazaka had broken a couple of his ribs.

As he lay in his hospital be he didn't blame his rival. He knew that he had deserved the pain. 'He let me off easy. I deserve more. I- I molested Mizuki. And I didn't stop those guys who attacked him that day. I just stood and watched from the alley of the locker rooms. I deserve a lot worse then this.'

It was true; some guys from the other schools had asked him to join them. No one liked Kagurazaka, it was rumored his own family hated him. Sano didn't tell anyone what they were trying to do he watched them do it and Nanba saw him.

In the morning the police were there to ask him what happened. "Can you remember anything from last night, son?" A detective wearing large sunglasses asked. "I think… I fell." He said.

He didn't tell them what he did to Mizuki or what he could have stopped happen to Kagurazaka. He wanted to but something inside of him would let the words come out. "Fell?" the same officer asked. "You were found in the middle of the sidewalk, there was no where to fall from."

He starred at the cop with cold eyes. "You asked if I could remember anything, I remember falling." It wasn't a complete lie; he was currently remembering the competition and falling backwards after clearing he bar and winning the competition.

He noticed the man write it down in a note book and take off his sun glasses. "Did someone do this to you? Are you trying to protect someone?" 'Yes, myself.' He didn't answer and just waited for him to get bored and leave.

"If you remember something here's my card." Sano just set it on the table next to the bed they had put him in, reminding himself to throw it away later. He watched the cop leave and then relaxed.

He knew that he should be punished for his horrible crimes but maybe if no one knew then he himself could forget. Of course Mizuki, Kagurazaka, and Nakatsu already knew about of his secrets and Nanba the other.

He had committed two horrible deeds in the same day and finally he was starting to pay for them. His guilt would not be enough and neither would his broken ribs be but they were a start to him.

And before the nurses came in with his medication he found himself wondering what Mizuki and the others were doing. It was around third hour, the only class he had with Mizuki. He wondered if she would freak out on him like she did when that man over summer vacation failed to do what he had remorsefully succeeded in.

Finally! My friend didn't jam my locker today like she did the day before and before that. But my mom was a late to pick me up from school thinking I would be late with locker problems. Oh well. Please review… Huffa!


	6. It's not his fault

I have to read the last chapter really quick. My memory suck when it comes to anything not related to school. Okay and now I know what I wrote. I think this story is liked. Unlike my Inuyasha story. If anyone who read this likes Inuyasha will you read my other story? It has no reviews and 3 chapters. I'll stop writing if I don't get enough reviews soon. I guess that means ill update this more often…

Disclaimer- If I owned Hana- Kimi I wouldn't be trying to get my parents to take me to the book store so I could buy the 8th volume.

The first day of school after Mizuki had been raped went surprisingly well with only one incident. The teacher had asked her if she knew where Izumi was because the two of them were so close.

She froze on the spot. She wanted to say something like, "You have no idea how close he's made me be with him." Or "I hope that he dies over night." In truth she didn't mean the last one but she was angry at him. She loved him so much, even now and he just threw all of that away.

Nakatsu had put a hand on her shoulder, both comfortingly and defensively. "Sano never back last night from where ever he went." Kayashima said feeling that he should say something. The teacher had just nodded and moved on with the lesson plan.

Nakatsu was really being there for her. When she felt uncomfortable changing in front of the guys in gym he helped her slip away. (She wears a long shirt so no one can see her girly underwear and waits for everyone else to leave before changing her shirt.)

Mizuki felt herself safe again. Even though she worried constantly what she would do if she saw Sano a smile from Nakatsu made it all just go away. She was grateful to have at least one friend like him.

That night she had fallen asleep while doing her homework. The soccer player carried her over to her bed and tucked her in. he watched her chest rise and fall. It was so constant and soon he felt sleepy just watching her.

He shook it off and went to go do his own homework. He wasn't as stupid as most people thought. He did really well on the homework when he remembered to do it. He was just horrible at doing tests. He could study until his brain hurt but it would make no difference.

He just threw himself into the work answering question after question in frenzy like state. Before he finished all of his work he heard Mizuki start to toss and turn. She made uncomfortable noises until she was actually screaming.

"Mizuki! Wake up Mizuki!" he rushed to her side holding her as she awoke. There was confusion and fear in her eyes. She felt someone's arms around her and started to panic. "No!" she yelled trying to get away.

"Mizuki?" he asked confused stepping back at bit. She starred for a moment then began to cry. He held her once again as tears fell from her eyes. "I'm sorry." She repeated over and over again.

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize. Are you okay?" he asked. 'No, I'm so scarred. Help me! Please, hold me just like this.' She wanted to say it but couldn't find the words so she just grabbed on to him tighter.

He made no objection and just let her calm down in his arms. Finally she let go and smiled at him. "Are you better now?" he asked letting go a little. She nodded feeling embarrassed like no other.

"I had a bad dream." She said it in such a cute way Nakatsu couldn't help but have his old feelings of love come back towards the surface. He loved her but she was hurt. He had to wait until she healed, if she ever did.

The two went back to sleep without any further incident that night. In the morning Mizuki woke up to fine Nakatsu gone. He had left a note on his bed saying that he had to get to an early practice and than he would meet her in the cafeteria.

She sat down in her normal seat and soon Noe and Sekime sat down next to her. "Hey." They both said. "Morning." The two starred at her for a long moment. "You look different." Noe pointed out.

She shrugged. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I guess I'm just tired." The two boys shrugged. "Did you hear Sano is in the hospital?" "Of course he did there roommates. Duh."

She just shoved some food in her mouth. 'Hospital? I hope he's not hurt. Wait, why should I care? I hope he's hurt! Okay no I don't. I just can't help it. I still love him. I want that night to never have existed. If I hadn't been visiting Kagurazaka in the hospital then none of this would have ever happened!' she thought angrily.

'It's his entire fault this happened. If he had just been on time to the competition then he wouldn't have been attacked so I wouldn't have had to go visit him. And then I would have been there in the bar to tell Sano he's had enough and then we would have both gone home sober and still… and still whatever it is that we were!'

Blaming Kagurazaka was just so easy. Blaming anyone was easy. Blaming anyone besides Sano that is. Now that she had moved the blame off of him and onto someone else she was ready to forgive him.

She had been so deep in thought that she didn't hear Nakatsu sit down next to her and she jumped but of her seat when he poked her. "Ah! Don't scare me like that!" she yelled. "Sorry, I just wanted to say that you're gonna be late for class. I mean you've been sitting there eating nothing forever."

She looked down at her plate. And of course it's empty. She had eaten everything and not even noticed. She grabbed her books and went to her first class with the soccer player. Thoughts of things between her and Sano being like it was before filled her head and she couldn't wait to go see him in the hospital. She didn't say anything to anyone about visiting him. She knew that Nakatsu would disapprove and not let her go but she had to forgive him. After all it wasn't his fault.

Chapter six baby! I wrote this all in less then an hour. Okay so it's more like 5 minuets less then hours but less it is. Please review, I looked back at all my stories and not too many people reviewed for any of them and it made me feel bad. Please make me feel better and review!


	7. Can't act like nothing happened

The mystery of the smelly shampoo had been solved! Everyday for a couple of days I've been standing by the flag pole, where my friend and her friends are. (I just recently found out it was a flag pole. Yay me!) And in the morning I smell this shampoo smell that I really don't like. But when ever you mention it, it goes away like it was never there. Well finally this one person asked what it smelled like after I pointed it out. And then he said it was herbal essence after I described it and then my friend who I tell everyday that there's a smell to says that it's her. I thought it was her before but she didn't know where it was coming from until he said the name of the shampoo. So the case of the smelly shampoo had been solved…

Disclaimer- Hello again, I do not own Hana- Kimi. Have a nice day!

Later that day Sano was surprised that he had a visitor. He didn't have any family hat lived nearby and for obvious reasons his friends didn't come. "A young man is here to see you Izumi."

The nurse said letting the visitor in the room. Looking up to see who it was; Sano was shocked. His mouth dropped open a bit and he could find no words. It was Mizuki. She was standing in the entrance to his room not sure if it would be alright for her to come in.

"Mizuki? What…? Why…?" she smiled and walked in finally and sat down in a chair next to his bed. "How are you doing? The nurse said that you have some broken ribs." He didn't know what else to do so he nodded.

She looked concerned. "What happened to you?" she asked with eh utmost sincerity. "I… I fell." "Sano! That's terrible! Did you trip?" he nodded. 'What's wrong with her? Why is she here? Why does she care?' he wondered as she put her hand on top of his.

"Don't worry, I'll take notes in class for you and I'll make sure they don't kick you off the track team for not showing up for practice. You don't have to worry about anything but getting better." She smiled at him. It was a sight that made him want to puke.

"Why are you here Mizuki? I… I hurt you." He couldn't bring himself to say that he had raped her not even if they both knew it was true. Her face became serious. "It's not your fault. You didn't mean too. You were drunk."

Kagurazaka's words rung threw his head. "I've been drunk plenty of times. It doesn't excuse you for what you've done to her!" "That shouldn't make what I did to you any less horrible." He said surprising himself as the words came out by themselves.

She frowned. "I know. I don't blame you Sano. It's all Kagurazaka's fault. He's the one who got injured so I wasn't there to stop you from having too many drinks." Izumi's mouth felt dry. 'That's my fault too dammit! In the end no matter what happens it's all my fault.' But he couldn't tell her that this was his fault too. He just let her blame his rival for something he had done to her.

She smiled sweetly at him. "I moved into Nakatsu's dorm room but once you get better and come back I can go back to sharing a dorm with you." "I don't think that would smart Mizuki. Nakatsu and Kagurazaka would only think I'm taking advantage of you." He knew that seeing her everyday and knowing what he had done would be too much to him.

She gave a sigh. "It does not matter what Kagurazaka thinks and Nakatsu will understand that no matter what I will always love you. It's better to forgive and forget Sano. Other wise I would live my entire life in a place of paranoia and other rape symptoms."

He gritted his teeth at the word. He had once, in junior high, written an every passionate essay against rape. Now he was the very person he had described in his A+ paper, an unspeakable villain of the worst kind.

But then again he also loved Mizuki. He didn't want to lose her from his life forever. He knew that if they didn't live in the same dorm then she would move on. It was a dispirit attempt to keep her with him and on stay on her good side that he agreed.

She left the hospital with a sense of accomplishment not knowing that she had just dammed her love to the rest of his school days to be filled with self hatred and hatred of others. Sano didn't know if it would have been better to just lose her forever or to drive himself insane with guilt.

When Mizuki got back to the dorm that he barely knew Nakatsu was there waiting for her. "Where were you?" he asked. He had spent over an hour looking for her, afraid of what could have happed to make her disappear without a word.

"I just went to go visit my friend Rio." She lied. Her new roommate starred at her for a long time before accepting her answer. He went over to his desk and started playing with some papers, anything to distract him from the wonderful world of biology homework.

"Look, Nakatsu." Mizuki started sitting on her bed. "I need to talk to you about something." He shrugged turning around to face her in his spinney chair. He had pushed off the ground too hard and spun around a few times before finally facing her.

"What's up?" he asked. She wasn't sure how to say it so blurting it out seemed like the best thing to do. "I want to go back to my own dorm room with Sano!" he just starred then started to laugh.

"Good one Mizuki. Like you would ever do that. I think you've gotten funnier." "I'm not kidding Nakatsu. I visited Sano today and things between us are cool. I want to be with him, I love him."

The soccer player shook his head. "He hurt you. You can't just go back to him and act like nothing happened. When you saw didn't you feel scarred at all? Aren't you afraid that he'll do it again?"

She was angry now. "How could you say things like that? Izumi is your friend! You know that it's not his fault and that he would never hurt me again. And why would I have been scarred? He was lying in a hospital with broken ribs!"

She was standing up and fuming. Nakatsu had a calmed expression on his face. He knew he shouldn't get worked up like she was or else they would only have more conflict. "You felt safe because he was hurt and defenseless. What will you do when he gets better and stronger? What will you do when he gets drunk again and wants you in his bed again?"

His words had stung her like bees. She was crying even though she did not want to be. "He's only trying to take advantage of you Mizuki. He knows you love him and he knows you vulnerable. You're such a wonderful person to have him lose you from his life would destroy him. He wants you with him even if he knows he might hurt you again."

"You know nothing about Sano or love! You just think that everyone is like you and just wants to get into my pants!" she ran out of the room as fast as she could. 'What did she just say? That little brat! Damn, I have to go after her. No matter what she says I can't let he go out in the middle of the night and risk something happening to her.'

Nakatsu grabbed his own coat and one for Mizuki then ran after her. She was fast but he was faster. The only problem was that he wasn't sure where Mizuki would go. While searching the campus he saw a figure climb over the gate leading out into the city.

"Mizuki," he called out. "Wait! Mizuki!" he climbed over right after her. She gave him a pretty good chase; she was going in circles trying to loose him. Suddenly Nakatsu stopped and thought for a moment.

'Mizuki has been here for over a year but she couldn't know this area so well.' "Then who the hell have I been chasing!" he yelled out loud. There was no one on the streets except for himself until a person stopped infront of him.

It was Kayashima. He just starred at Nakatsu who was breathing hard. "What are you doing out this late?" his former roommate asked him. "Me? I was chasing after you thinking you were Mizuki! What the hell are you doing out here?"

Kayashima smiled. "I was just chasing the ghost who lives in Sano's dorm. I've always wanted to talk to it but it never left so when I switched rooms I thought I could finally talk to him. But then he said I couldn't talk to him unless I beat him in a race. I recognized the ghost from some old newspapers. He was a track stare murdered the night before his big competition in his dorm room. This was only a few years before we came to Osaka."

Nakatsu shivered feeling suddenly cold. "And there he is. See you later!" Kayashima yelled running away. 'He's really fast. How come he's not on the track team or didn't volunteer for the festival track thing?'

The teen was distracted from his thoughts and he almost forgot why he had left his dorm room filled with unfinished homework in the first place. Only did he remember when a cold breeze passed by him soon followed by Kayashima.

"Mizuki's in some park nearby!" he called back trying to beat his unseen competition. "Thanks!" the teen yelled back a little weirded out by his former roommate's abilities yet again.

He headed off to the nearest park and then all the other parks in the area. Soon he fell asleep on the kiddy slide still trying to find Mizuki.

I'm so tired… I heart Kayashima so I felt like I had to add him in this chapter. Oh! I finally got volume 8! The guy at the bookstore got it out of the back room for me when I thought there were none left. I feel special. gleams please read and review!


	8. The only tears I've cried

I'm still really tired. I just want to sleep but I can't and this chapter really has nothing to do with the last chapter. I just wanted to add it.

Disclaimer- I don't own Hana- Kimi.

Kagurazaka hated school. No one there liked him. No one had in along time. He could barley remember those days when he was eager to go to school and meet up with his friends. It had been such along time ago. He now had to write an essay about the worst moment in his life.

He could remember the day that everyone had turned on him so clearly. It was one of those haunting memories that follow you until the day you drop dead. It hurt his heart to remember but he soon learned to cope with the pain.

He was just in middle school. He was around the age of 12. He had always high jumped, it was part of who he was and everyone had respected that about him. Until the new kid showed up.

The new guy was also a high jumper. Moved from Hokkaido in order to get away from home. Kagurazaka though he would befriend the new kid, after all they both had the same love for the same sport.

The new kid didn't want to be near him. He didn't want to be near anyone. His wanting to be away from the other children only made him the most popular guy in school. All the girls loved him and all the guys wanted to be like him, except for Makoto.

All of Makoto's friends thought that he was old news now that there was an even cooler high jumper in town. He didn't want to loose all his friends so Makoto challenged the new guy to a jump in front of everyone.

No one had ever seen the new guy jump so they were all excited to watch. Each were going to jump at different heights until they could no longer clear the bar. Makoto was determined to beat the new guy and prove to his friends that he was still worth hanging around.

Each jumper had made the first 3 jumps with ease. Kagurazaka was running down the path to the jump when he saw it. The new guy was kissing his girlfriend on the side lines! He had been distracted and missed the jump. The new guy won by default.

All his friends looked down at him like a big loser and his girlfriend became the new guys manager and girlfriend. They only dated discreetly so no one ever new except for Makoto. He had been wounded from that day on and there was only one person to name. Izumi Sano.

After his defeat at the competition he tried to re-challenge Sano but he would not agree.

Kagurazaka soon became the guy with a big mouth and no skill. He knew that he could beat Sano, and he did. At every track meet but still everyone now hated him. He had done nothing but still the hatred stuck.

When he got into Tokyo High he thought that things would be better. He thought that he could start anew. But all those former classmates just spread the hatred against him and he had no chance.

At home he would always lie to his parents about having friends because they worried when no one ever called or stopped by any more. His life was a living hell because of one guy. He hated him with every fiber of his being but could do nothing about it.

He never cried before. He kept up his appearance and made it look like he was fine without all those people who he had thought were his friends. That only made people dislike him even more.

And then there was the day he found his sister in his dorm crying her eyes out. She had been raped. He wanted to get help but she wouldn't let him. She just wanted her big brother there and no one else. Other people, in her opinion, were scum.

After months of being there for her he had gotten that horrible phone call. The one that told him they had found his sisters body in the man who raped her room. She had hung herself there to end her life and to show him what he had done to her.

He finally came clean about what had happened to her and then even more people wanted to see him disappear off the face of the earth. His family disowned him and many people who had been friends with his sister made his life even worse.

He had thought for a moment about making his own life end but he knew he couldn't. Instead he threw himself in his training even harder then before. Because of Izumi Sano that's all he had left.

When he had beaten him that night he blamed him for everything. He let go of all the pain that had been building up inside of him. He only had one person left in his life, Mizuki, and Sano had hurt her.

Kagurazaka now sat in his classroom starring out the window. 'I don't want to be here.' he thought. "Makoto Kagurazaka!" the teacher boomed. The teen slowly turned his head towards that teacher.

"Would you like to share with me what you wrote for the assignment? I believe everyone here would love to hear." Kagurazaka left an impassive face on as he stood up with his paper. "Yes teacher." He said almost like a robot.

"He turned to the rest of the class who were snickering about what he would put. "The worst moment in my life lasted longer then just a minuet. It even lasted longer then an hour. In fact I'm still living it. I have been for such a long time."

A few kids laughed but the teacher silenced then and told Kagurazaka to go on. It was true that particular teacher had never liked him but he was truly interested in what he had written. Makoto felt as if he was leaving himself vulnerable by reading off this paper to the whole class.

"It's a moment that will never end. The gods won't allow it and neither will the rest of the world. In many years of one horrible moment the only tears I've cried have been painted on by a blue florescent marker."

The paper was a good three pages. The class was so caught up in his words of pain that they forgot there hatred and some girls even felt like crying. But he knew that when this was all over that this paper would only be used against him.

The last sentences were, "And until the day I die there will only be one person to blame for this never-ending moment. His name is Izumi Sano. He is the destroyer of my life." The whole class was silent even the teacher kept his large mouth shut.

Kagurazaka just went to sit down. He felt uncomfortable with the stares he was receiving. Instead of just sitting down he grabbed his things and left the room. He was absent for the rest of the day.

Told you it had nothing to do with the rest of the story. The next chapter will start where the seventh one ended and I probably won't write anymore chapters like this one.


	9. That one kiss

Okay someone suggested that I get a "beta reader". And if I knew what that was I would probably get one. If someone would tell me what that is I would appreciative. Also if someone would tell me what OOC stands for and the rest of the stuff like that because I have no clue what any of it means. It's actually kind of funny. I have like ten stories out and I still don't know what those things are. I wanted to ask a long time ago but I keep on forgetting.

Disclaimer- I do now own Hana- Kimi. If I did then Sano would end up mysteriously dyeing or something like that. Hey that's now a bad idea. –evil laughter comes from no where-

Nakatsu awoke to a small child poking him with a stick. "I think he's dead Muy!" he said to his friend who was hiding behind the plastic slide. "Really?" he asked getting out of hiding seeing how it was no longer needed if the man was truly dead.

"Did you check his pulse?" Muy asked the child with the pointy stick, much to Nakatsu's dismay. "No way! I'm not touching a dead guy! That's gross. You do it. Your mom is the nurse."

Muy was about to put his fingers to Nakatsu's neck but then the other child poked him again and Nakatsu woke up grouchily. "I swear if I get poked again I'm gonna…!" he looked around to see too children who looked like they saw a ghost.

"H- He's alive!" both children yelled screaming trying to run away. The soccer player looked confused. 'What the hell? Of course I'm alive!' "Hey what's your problem? What were you two doing poking me like that?"

Finally the child who had formerly held the stick stopped screaming and looked up at the teen. "Sorry mister. We thought you were dead. But I guess you're just some homo homeless guy." His friend started to laugh and they both went on there way to where ever it is they had to go.

'Homo! Those little brats! I am not gay! Or homeless for that matter. I must have fallen asleep while looking for Mizuki. I hope that she made it back to the school okay. I don't know what I would do if something would have happened to her.'

But in truth that night Mizuki had gone to a place where the one person who could hurt her was. She went to the hospital and stayed with Sano out in the Hospital Park/ garden. He was healing really fast and would be going back to school soon.

Mizuki felt confident that now that he was getting better nothing bad could happen. She wasn't getting nightmares or sudden urges to hide under a rock and waste her life away where no one could see or save her.

Before seeing Sano in the hospital the day before those were the only feelings she had. Like she wasn't good enough to be saved by anyone who tried. She had tried to hide her feelings from Nakatsu but the reliving the moment thing that her mind did was one thing she could not hide.

Some of her teachers had shown worry for her but she insisted that nothing was wrong. She kept on saying that the outbursts during class were her way of reliving stress. She promised she wouldn't do it anymore and now it seemed like she could actually keep that promise.

Sano had been asleep when she snuck into his room. No one knew she was there so when she entered she tried not to wake him. Seeing him sleep brought back all the feelings of love and lust she had still felt towards him.

He was innocent in his sleep. Nothing he did while he was awake mattered in his dreams. In his subconscious he and Mizuki were married. He had dreams of that night only with her willingness and there being a beautiful wedding band on both of there fingers. In his sleep everything was okay.

It was along time before he awoke. An hour after she arrived but it felt like forever for Mizuki. She watched as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room and how he sighed, realizing it was just a dream and that she wasn't there waiting for him. Well actually she was he just wasn't aware of it yet.

She was about to make herself known in the dark room when he spoke. "This isn't right. I would rather live in a dream then to ever wake up knowing that I have done such a horror. Make this guilt go away. Make my dreams some true."

She was taken back by his words. 'Is he talking about me? I told him it was okay. I told him it wasn't his fault. Why does he still feel bad? Damn Kagurazaka, all this would never have happened if not for him. He has caused Sano so much pain.'

She stepped out from the shadows almost scarring him to death. "Mizuki! What the hell are you doing here? You scarred me." She shook her head. "I'm sorry Izumi. I didn't mean to. I just had to see you."

He tried to sit up but she stopped him seeing him wince from the broken ribs. "Don't hurt yourself." She cautioned. She came and sat on the edge of his hospital bed. "Nakatsu and I got into a fight. I had to see you."

For some reason he felt like a girl for the first time even with Sano. Even more then that night. She was speaking in whispers and her breath mingled with his. He felt an urge to his kiss but didn't. It would be a big mistake.

Mizuki wanted his kiss more then anything at that moment. He was the one person who had hurt her but also was the only one who could make all the pain from the rest of the world go away.

She leaned in extremely close. "It's okay Sano." Her lips brushed against his as she spoke. "I don't mind. You don't have to hold back anymore. I need you." He knew he couldn't. He knew that it was the worst thing to do to her at the moment. But he was weak. 'I need you more then you will ever know.' He thought kissing her passionately.

Flashbacks of that night came back instantly. But she didn't pull away. She didn't scream. She didn't even blush when he pulled away because of the pain in his ribs. The old her was starting to fade away. It only took that one kiss.

So that's the chapter. I was going to write more but I thought that that was a good stopping point. Oh, I was wondering if anyone had read the book "Wicked"? I'm not sure if I should buy it or not. It looks good but I don't know… Please review!


	10. The person she wants to be

Wow… people at my school suck. There so retarded and mean. I hate them all. Okay not all of them cause I like my friends and stuff but I mean like the mean "popular people". I also am annoyed anyone who is against my two braids. I've had the same hair style since 5th grade, I'm not gonna change it anytime soon. Today wasn't a good day…

Disclaimer- I am the most anti- Sano person you will ever have the pleasure of reading a story by and if I owned Hana-Kimi just think about the changes there would be…

Mizuki didn't want to stop at that one kiss when Sano pulled away. She smiled at him and kissed him again. She could tell he was surprised her persistence. He could tell that something was different.

She wanted more; she wanted to sleep with him. But this time, she wanted to do it right. Izumi wasn't responding in the way she would have liked him too. He kept constantly having to pull away from her.

He was trying but the pain was too much and he couldn't do anything about it. For a moment she actually cared about his well being but then that compassion was gone, only to be replaced with complete lust.

She started to tug at his clothing. He finally knew where she was going and had mixed opinions. He wanted her, he always had. There would be nothing that he would like better then to have her right then at that moment but he knew he shouldn't. He knew that he had to stop.

"Mizuki, we can't to this." He forced the words out of his mouth. In his mind he knew that the girl he knew so much would have blushed at her relentlessness. But she didn't. Her face stayed calm and undeterred. (Undeterred? Is that the right word?)

"Why not?" She asked finally cocking her head to the side. She was looking extremely seductive, slowly unbuttoning her shirt. He bit his lip. Her vest was in full view and her hands moved to the viper but then he stopped her from showing him what he wanted to see.

He couldn't even look at her. He felt like some perverted kid caught watching porno. "I can't do this. My ribs hurt too much." 'They do hurt. I hope she doesn't know that that's not the only reason.' He thought.

"I'll be really gentle Sano. I won't hurt you. I could never do that to you baby." Even though her words didn't mean too they stung him like a whip. Her hands slowly moved to in-between his legs and then he finally shook his head and got out of bed.

She looked shocked as he stood by the bed, back facing her. His hands were clutching his rib cage in a protective fashion. She could hear him breathing heavily. Her mind suddenly jumped to hateful conclusions.

'He doesn't want me!' she thought with venom. 'He only likes girls that don't want him. He's scarred. Apparently he can only sleep with girls who are unwilling.' All that love that she was feeling disappeared yet again.

Before he could find the words to say to her she had already buttoned up her shirt and left. She was cold; she was so cold in the way she looked at him upon leaving. He wanted to follow but he knew his body's limits at the moment.

Unlike the old Mizuki, she didn't go somewhere to cry. She went to the hospitals garden and sat on a park bench. She only had anger left within her. All her other emotions had been used up in the past. There was nothing left except for her constant anger.

She was angry at Sano for forcing her to sleep with her and then refusing her days later. She was angry at Kagurazaka for being born in the first place. She was angry at Nakatsu for not being there for her. She found herself with an excuse to be angry at everyone that she had ever known in her entire life.

She didn't sleep that night. It might have been the insomnia but she found herself in the bad part of town that was still awake, even at 3 in the morning. She found herself entering a bar filled to the capacity with people.

She pushed herself through the crowd of people and to the bar. The bar tender raised an eyebrow at her appearance. "Aren't school boys supposed to be in there dorms by now?" she asked pouring her a drink.

"I'm no boy." Mizuki said with a sneer. For her first time in Japan someone had actually mistaken her for a man but she didn't care anymore. It was time for her to return to her original gender for once.

"So what's with the uniform?" the place looked crowded and Mizuki wasn't sure why the only bartender in the place was stopping to chat to her. "It's my ex's. I thought I'd take it after the way he dumped me the way he did."

The bartender seemed impressed. "The names Mia." She introduced herself. "I'm guessing that you don't have anyone to go home to?" Mizuki shook her head. "Not in this country." Mia nodded. "I own this place. If you got no place to stay I can give you a job and the apartment upstairs."

Even the new angry Mizuki seemed shocked at this. Her mouth dropped a little. "Well that's an attractive face." Mia teased. "What do you say?" Mizuki nodded in agreement. There was no way in hell anyone could make he go back to Osaka. There was no man that could get her to go back without a nig fight.

"I'm Mizuki." The bartender nodded. "As you probably already noticed we're packed here. "Can you start now?" Mizuki nodded and climbed over the counter. "It's a really easy job. All you have to do it give the customers the drinks they order. I keep it really organized behind the counter. It's really not that hard to catch on. You'll be a pro in no time."

Mia starred at Mizuki for a moment. "Well aren't you a little under developed." She teased. Mizuki looked down and remembered her vest was still on. "Oh, I'm not really like this. Where's the bathroom?" the owner of the bar pointed to a door nearby the counter.

"I'll be right back!" she shouted entering it. She quickly unbuttoned her shirt and pulled of the vest. She put her shirt back on in record time. She tied the ends in a not just above her belly button feeling too lazy to tuck it into her pants.

When she got back out Mia gave her a look of confusion but then just returned to filling people's orders. Mizuki, as Mia had said, become a pro in an extremely short amount of time. In just a few weeks she was pouring drinks almost as well as the other tenders she worked with.

She never once thought back about the people that she was angry at or the classes she was missing. She was happy again. She loved the people she worked with, she loved where she lived, and she loved how it felt to openly be a girl again.

But people in this place didn't reefer to her as a girl, she was a full grown woman in there eyes. But she wasn't the original her who was extremely naive and optimistic. Nor was she the angry her who had only existed for a few weeks. She was a new version of herself.

She was a strong person who no longer needed other people to save her. She was the beautiful soul that not too many people had ever envisioned working in a bar with drunken men hitting on her constantly. She also wasn't embarrassed by all the stupid things that had mad her turn bright red before. She liked this part of her. She wanted it to survive until the rest of her days were gone. This was the type of person who she wanted to be.

She never looked back on those people who had meant so much to her in the past. She thought she would give them the decency of the mind to call in her official drop out of Osaka high. Never once did she think that a year later her past would finally catch up with her.

Well that's something even I didn't see coming. In the next chapter I promise to write more about the new people in her life and stuff like that. The next chapter might be delayed a bit because I'm writing a script for my friend's horror film but I'll try!


	11. Mikey and Ann

I'm so tired. I just came back from the Halloween activity night at school. I didn't dress up. But I was jokingly called a whore, slut and hooker. (They were just kidding I'm the exact opposite of all those things) but I wasn't able to eat dinner before I left, okay so I had a really disgusting tasting salad, I decided to change my costume to an anorexic. But since I was hungry I grabbed a snickers bar. And trust me; just grabbing one does not prolong the hunger. Then I had a sugar rush and I was extremely hyper. I was skipping the through the halls like a total ass after playing a game of sudden death ping pong. I bull dozed my friend… and then my sister called me. Again and again. I had to keep running into the bathroom to take her calls. That's when the hyper ness died and I got sleepy and really deep sigh like. But this year they did make a good haunted house, and since they moves all of the desks from the room they did it in I'm hoping when they put them back ill finally have the good desk in Spanish. A girl can only dream. Well as I can tell you guys don't care about my night so I'll just get to the story.

Disclaimer- I own nothing.

Mikey starred at her as she cleaned the counter of the bar with a rag. She was so beautiful. He had thought so, even a year ago when they had first met. Back then her hair had been short and she acted like a boy with a grudge on the world.

Now her hair reached mid back and was dyed blond. She had come up with the conclusions that drunken men tip better for American looking girls. And because she also had the ability to speak perfect English she was the best tipped bartender in the bar. Mikey had always joked about that because he was a blond too but he was she was liked better by the people.

Mikey had always felt a bit jealous when the low lifes' that came in got more attention from her then he did. He had fallen in love with her while working over time with her one night a long time ago.

He had been teaching her how to put on a show while serving people on a slow day. She tried throwing a bottle of sake in the air then catching it but then missed it. His hand her hers automatically went to the same place colliding each other trying to catch the bottle.

She smiled sheepishly when it shattered on the floor. There fingers had been tangled with each others while trying to catch it. He smiled at her as she pulled her hair behind her ear, keeping her hand with his.

He had smiled at her and she bit her lip. And then Mia, with her perfect timing, ran out of her office looking around as if she were in enemy territory. When she saw the broken bottle of sake on the ground in between the two she started to scream.

Of course her yells were directed at Mikey. She had pulled him by the ear to the storage room to get the proper cleaning utensils. As Mia made him clean up the mess he looked up at Mizuki and she laughed and made a joke about how cleaning up seemed to suit him.

It was that exact moment that he knew his heart became hers. Every moment since then he had secretly pinned for her. He never let her know it, if he did it would cause some fight between Mizuki and Ann, his girlfriend.

Mikey smiled at the teen and walked over behind her. "Missed a spot rookie." He informed her. "Oh come on! I've worked here for a year! How come I'm still the rookie?" Cho laughed at her complaints.

"You're rookie until someone else comes here for a job. I had to wait three years before you came along to take that nickname away from me. Well, actually Ann was supposed to have it for a year of my time but she's creepy." Mia carried some boxes into the room. "Well it's like your new name is so much better. Aye private?"

Cho threw an apron at Mikey and everyone laughed. Cho was the short and plumper kid that everyone loved to laugh at. Before he came to the bar he had tried to be a stand up comedian but his act was worse then 5 year olds knock knock jokes.

Mikey was the tall skinny pale kid who wares his emotions on his sleeve. He had worked at the bar loner then anyone else. He had even been there before Mia owned it. He needed to be around fun loving people or else he would die of boredom, or so he claims. His hair was short and was always messy. He was always being made fun of for trying to skate board on the crowded streets of Japan.

Ann came out from the storage room caring even more boxes like Mia had been. She looked around the room with her evil glare and everyone's good time just seemed to stop. She placed her boxes on top of Mia's and then leaned against the wall next to Mikey.

She starred at Mizuki and then at her boyfriend. She hated Mizuki for the way she made Mikey stare at her that way. She crossed her arms across her chest and gave her boyfriend a long kiss just to make sure for the millionth time that everyone was clear he was hers.

Mizuki just tried to ignore them both. "What's in the boxes Mia?" she asked. The owner of the bar gave a wide grin. "Well tonight we're shutting down the whole bar. Tokyo High has rented the whole place out for there graduation party!"

Everyone else looked impressed. Every time that someone rented the whole place out meant that they would all be getting a bonuses in there checks that month. Mizuki faked a smile. Ann noticed her fakeness.

"What's wrong Mizuki?" she asked acting like she cared. She knew that there was a secret in here somewhere. Ann was determined to pry it out in front f everyone. "Oh it's nothing!" she said a bit too quickly making everyone else know that something was up.

"No really Mize. What's up?" Cho asked taking his attention away from the box full of streamers. Everyone was starring at her and she had no choice but to spill. "My old friend goes to Tokyo. He's graduating this year."

Mikey couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Finally! We find some sort of clue on the mysterious Mizuki's past. One night, out of no where came a mysterious looking girl wearing a boy's school uniform. Within minuets she's got a job and the apartment above the bar… without even asking!"

Mia laughed. "Are you still complaining about that? I'm sorry general Mikey but she just needed it more then you did." He stuck out his tongue at the owner of the bar. They both made faces at each other for awhile.

Finally Ann was getting sick of the complete immaturity of everyone around her. "Can we just decorate this place already?" she turned around carrying one of the boxes to the far side of the bar.

Cho made a funny face and imitated Ann talking. Mikey punched in the in the face sending him flying into the wall and walked over to his girlfriend. "You okay?" Mizuki asked him concerned. He nodded.

"If he hadn't been distracted by Ann then he would have hit me harder. You can't mess with the girlfriend, no matter what kind of a bitch she's being." The blond teen giggled and watched the two of them on the other side of the room.

There were wrapped in each others arms and rocking slightly back and forth. Mizuki felt a pang in her heart when she saw them together. Ann really was a bitch. She could never understand why Mikey loved her so much, they were complete opposites. She knew that opposites didn't go together. Her and Sano had been the painful truth of that.

'I would be better with him then her. She's always yelling at him and trying to boss us around. Why are they still together!' she asked herself in confusion. She turned her head away from the couple and back to a box Cho was hanging decorations out of.

She went over to him and started to help. "So, does this mean that your 19 now?" Cho asked her cutting a piece of tape with his teeth. "I'm still 17 but I'll be 18 in a few months." The comedian nodded.

"Did you know that Mikey started to work here when he was 10? His step dad used to own the place before Mia bought it. That's the same year that he moved here from America. I still can't believe that he was forced to move here and learn a whole new language because him mom married someone from here."

Mizuki nodded. "The school I went to here was hard enough as it was while I actually knew the language." Mia started hanging the banner right over the bar area. "Yeah but it was really hard for him. He had something wrong with him that caused him to stutter when he was younger. It made understanding him harder then it would normally.

"That's when he met Ann. All the kids used to make fun of him but she would beat the shit out of anyone who would say anything bad to him." Mizuki looked at Ann. She was extremely skinny and looked like she would break in half if you squeezed her hard enough. The teen was having a hard time imagining her beating the shit out of anyone.

"Eventually the stutter went away, even though if you listen closely you can still hear it. But then Mikey owed so much to Ann. She was the first person to except him here. When he learned that she loved him he knew that he would repay her with his own love."

Cho tried to get some tape off of his finger with Mizuki starred in wonder. "Well anyways. I told you that because I know that you don't get why there together. But he's being with her to pay back years of kindness. He's loved her for a long time now, no matter mean she's gotten over the years. He knows that she's just defensive of him."

"I guess when there's a type of love like that there's nothing else anyone can do about it. We can only sit by and stop wondering why they got together in the first place." Mizuki stated almost mumbling.

Within hours the whole place was decorated in the Tokyo High colors. (That I don't know what they are.) Mizuki bit her lip anxiously. There was only so much time that she had in between now and the time she would see Kagurazaka again.

'Maybe he'll skip the party. He hates his school and everyone in it. Why would he spend more time with them then he had too? I really don't want to see him. I still blame him… for everything that's happened to me back then.'

And as Mizuki waited anxiously to see if he would be there… okay this chapter is over. I've decided that this is just way too long. I hate long chapters, even though I know most people prefer them. Please review! I wrote this chapter in around an hour and I'm dead tired!


	12. It's really me

Was my spelling really that bad? –nervous laugh- the funny thing about that is that I actually took the time to look over that chapter. And now I know never to do that again. But I do too use spell check! It just isn't a very good program but I'm sure it would scare the shit out of you guys if you saw one of my stories without spell check. Trust me, it would be horrible. Oh yeah and I'm changing something about Mikey. He's half Canadian.

Disclaimer- If you haven't caught on by now I suggest that you look back at my other chapters for this.

Kagurazaka looked in the mirror. He didn't even both to look at himself but he still acted like he did. He didn't want to go. His exact words had been, "When hell freezes over I'll go," when he had been asked by his classmate. Apparently hell was pretty cold right about then.

He didn't even know why anyone had even bothered to ask him to come. 'Probably feel bad for me.' He thought to himself grabbing his coat. 'I mean most of them do that now ever since what happened right after she left…'

He decided not to think any longer on the subject. He had tried so hard to just forget everything. And it was slowly starting to work. The whole that had been in his heart for so long was now starting to heal over. The fact that school was now finally over just meant that he could finally start a good life, become some one who was loved or at least had friends.

He had thought that he had, had that once. After everything was taken away he was left in darkness but then a light had appeared in the middle of his darkness. But then that was disappeared as soon as it had appeared.

He had looked all over for his missing light but it was just gone and he had a feeling it would never return, at least in the shape of Mizuki Ashiya again. He drove himself to the bar where he didn't want to be for a party he didn't want to go to.

He sighed stepping out of his car. A piece of junk it was but it was also all he could afford. He slammed the door hard hoping that the door would actually close for once. Alas he had no such luck.

He has park across the street from the bar and almost was run over a few times while still trying to shut his door. Finally he slammed the door with as much force as he could muster. It finally closed.

He walked into the bar that had been over decorated with his schools colors and saw no one else there. He looked down at his clock. It was 6:30, he was early. He walked over to the bar and sat down.

A cheery man came up to him from the other side of the counter and smiled. "You here for the party?" the bartender asked adjusting his backwards baseball hat. Kagurazaka nodded. "You're a bit early, aye? It's not for 15 minuets." He just shrugged.

He could feel as if someone was watching him and turned around. There was no one. He still felt as if someone was there watching him where he could not see them but he just shrugged the feeling off.

From behind the counter Mizuki sat in Mia's office which had a direct view of the whole place from a two way mirror. (Is that what they're called or are they one way?) He was sitting there helping Mia organize some paper work when someone entered the place and walked right into the bar.

She watched as Mikey came up to him and started a little conversation. Her friend was blocking the man's face but she could see him look behind himself as if looking for someone. Mia noticed the man as well.

"He must be the happy young graduate." She commented. From where she was sitting she would see him clearly. "Except he doesn't look so happy. I guess graduation is the time when they all think about what they're leaving behind after all those years."

Mizuki moved herself so she could see the man that Mia had addressed better. She tried not to gasp when she saw him. She knew that face! It was Kagurazaka. All this time she had made herself believe that he wouldn't come.

He looked different then before she noticed biting her lip. His hair was a bit longer and was really messy. He had bags under his eyes and whatever humor she had noticed in his eyes before were gone. He looked skinnier then before and no longer wore those sports labels all over himself as he once had.

He looked annoyed and irritated but most of all frightened. Something she had never seen in him before. 'Why is he scarred?' she asked herself. 'Is Mikey scarring him? That's not possible… Mikey's the friendliest person on earth. If that was Ann out there with him then I would understand but…' her thoughts were cut short by Mia who noticed her starring through the mirror with a passion.

"What's wrong Mizuki? Do you have a little crush on the Tokyo boy?" her boss teased but Mizuki missed the humor. She swallowed hard. "No, it's not like that!" she said a bit too defensively.

"What's wrong with you? What's up? Is this guy your friend or something?" "Or something is more like it." 'I don't even know why I called him a friend earlier. I mean he's the reason that… the reason that all these memories are coming back right now!'

She felt tears start to form but she fought them back. He wasn't going to cry because of him. Those days were over now. "Can I help you with these files later?" she asked getting up. "Sure Mize. But I would prefer if you didn't kill one of the graduates. All those years of school and finally there out only to meet there end by poor little Mize."

Mizuki threw a pillow at Mia and shut the blinds to her window before leaving the room. But she knew that the exact moment she left the room Mia ran up to the mirror in order to watch.

"Hey Mikey, Mia needs some help with the files in her office." Mizuki told him coming into view. Kagurazaka didn't look up at her when she stood right in front of him. Some people were no just starting to show up but he didn't pay attention to them either. He just played around with his drink that was half empty now.

"You need a refill?" she asked him but he just shook his head still not looking up. She was getting a bit annoyed at how he was not noticing her. Finally she just gave up and sat down on the stool next to him.

He looked at her right in the eye but didn't say anything or even made any notion that he recognized her. "Do you remember me?" she just came right out and asked him. She could see him smile at her.

"How can I forget? Wow I haven't seen you in a long time! You work here now?" he asked obviously happy to see her. She was surprised by his sudden happiness. "Yeah, for the past year now." He nodded, smile not going away.

"You always did like the booze, Yami." She just starred at him. 'Yami? Who the hell is Yami!' she was feeling a bit angry at him for mistaking her for someone else. "I'm not Yami."

He just starred at her for a moment. "Oh I'm sorry miss. I thought you were someone else." Her frustration grew. "Come on! How could you forget me?" she asked or more like yelled. His face showed a look of incomprehension.

She sighed taking some time to cool off. "It's me, Mizuki Ashiya." He frowned at her. "That's not funny." He started almost angrily. "Who asked you to say you were Mizuki? Was it Sano? That bastered! I'll…" she cut him off. "What are you talking about? What does Sano have to do with anything?"

"You can cut the act. This isn't a funny joke. You can stop acting now!" he looked like he was about to cry. "Kagurazaka…" she whispered feeling horrible for him. 'Why is he acting like this? Why does seeing him like this make me feel so bad?'

"This isn't a joke." She placed her hand on his arm in comfort but he jerked away from her touch. "It's really me, Mizuki Ashiya." He starred at her for a long time. She decided to help him with the visual and pulled her hair back so it looked a bit more it had back then.

She watched as he eyes grew wide. "Oh my god." He whispered so quietly that she almost didn't hear him. More people just came threw the door, there loud voices and merry chants filled the bar but in between Mizuki and Kagurazaka, there was no noise what so ever.

"Hey Mize!" Mikey yelled coming out from Mia's office where they had both secretly watched the two. He felt a bit odd coming between them but that had orders to fill. "Ann and Cho can't make it here, it's up to me you and Mia tonight." She nodded breaking the long gaze that she and Kagurazaka had been sharing.

"Okay, I'll be there in a second." When she looked back to her old friend he was already hurriedly going towards the door. "Kagurazaka!" she called but she feared that he did not hear her.

Then he stopped and turned around. There eyes met and he just shook his head. "You killed me." He didn't say the words or even mouth them but she knew that was what he was saying. She had killed him and didn't even know how.

She watched him leave the bar. She knew that if it was her leaving he would have followed but she stayed put. No matter what her body stayed still. She wanted to go after him. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to cry with him. But she just stayed where she was starring at the door.

Finally she got up and walked behind the bar. Mia and Mikey looked at her as if they understood but the truth was they had no idea at what they had been watching. They didn't know who that man was or why he left so quickly.

Mizuki tried to avoid there looks of sympathy and concentrated on pouring drinks for everyone. But just and hour into the graduation party she broke down and couldn't stop the tears that were falling from her eyes with such intensity.

Mikey pulled her away from the bar and they both sat in Mia's office. He held her while they both sat on the couch. She buried her head into his chest. He was warm and comforting. Maybe she wasn't so well put together as she had thought.

I was going to put something important here but I can't remember, damn. Oh well. I got this book from the library and it looked good so I started to read it. Turns out it's this slutty book. My friend who sits next to me in science wants to read it. I never knew she was that much of a pervert. I stopped reading it but when I finish the other books I got ill probably still read it… just because I want to know what happens that is. Okay so please read and review!


	13. The twitchy loner was left

And in this deep state of sadness there is only one request that I ask of others. Touch the light and burn yourselves until your soul has a scar. As you might already have been able to tell I'm not that happy at the moment. Guess that means someone's gonna die…

Disclaimer- Go away :'(

Mizuki cried on Mikey's shoulder for a long time. The whole time he sat there, hand running threw her hair in a calming manner. He sang to her sweet songs in English with a voice he had once thought about making a career with.

_Send it all to me. Whatever you feel I'll make it all go away. The man that hurt you will soon die. The boyfriend who left you alone and cold, I'll make all your pain from him disappear. That little boy who made you cry all those years ago. I'll go take him down if only it would make you smile. The father who left you alone, he'll pay for years of your own regret and self loathing. Let me dry up your tears with my kisses._

_Let me make it all away! I want all those men to pay! Send all your pain to me!_

_Watching you hurt is more painful to my soul then you'll ever know. Give me permission and I'll destroy every man who ever hurt you. I'll make the teacher who didn't like you cry the way he made you. I'll beat your friend's dad who hit on you and made you feel dirty. Just give me a chance. Please, just one chance to prove myself._

_Let me make it all go away! I want all those men to pay! Send your pain to me! Ah aha ha aha_

_And you sit there with tears falling freely and I want to kill the bastered who did this to you. Whether it was that man 5 years ago or the man five minuets ago I will solve the pain he's put you through. Just tell me which man these tears are for. And now I hold this knife to my throat, turns out that it was me all along._

Mikey realized that the song wasn't the most appropriate thing to sing but it seemed to be working. She slowly stopped crying to listen to his voice. It was enchanting almost. She never used to listen to music in Japan or America. It was strange to her that someone she had known for a year had this great gift he had never shared with her before.

She stayed protectively wrapped in his strong arms. Normally if she had just broken down like that crying she would have been extremely embarrassed and would try and get away from anyone who had seen her. Not this time.

Mikey made it hard for her to think of anything else but his voice singing songs she had never heard before. She didn't over contemplate why she had cried or why Kagurazaka had run away. There was only her and Mikey. Nothing else existed.

_In my arms I've got the best girl in the world. _Was how the new song started. Mizuki only held on to him tighter. Mikey smiled to himself. This was nice. _She's had days before but none like today. Today she'll want to hit me, scream at me, she'll want to kill me. I wouldn't have it any other way._

'_Cause this girl is the best in the whole world. She doesn't care about my flaws. She doesn't care about my past. So today is the day I give her everything! I'll giver her heaven and hell all in the same gift wrap. She'll want me she'll hate me. She'll have to fight the urge to fuck me._

The boy looked at the girl in his arms. Her face was all red from crying. She made no sign of being embarrassed. He kept on singing holding her like it was the only thing he ever wanted to do.

_In my arms I've got the best girl in the world. She knows that I'm the biggest ass in the world and doesn't care. She's had firsts and she's had lasts. She's had days before but none like today. Today she'll want to hit me, scream at me, she'll want to kill me. I wouldn't have it any other way._

As time moved by the two didn't even seem to notice it. He sang song after song and after song. Poor Mia had to handle the entire graduation party by herself. When it was all over she went into her office and found the two asleep on her couch.

'Sound proof walls.' She concluded. That would have been the only way that they could have slept through the end of the party. She cursed herself for paying extra for soundproof walls. She just sighed and put a blanket over the two and turned off the lights. Mikey was getting a deduction in his pay, 20 dollars for him not being there and another 20 dollars for Mizuki not being there.

After Kagurazaka had left the bar he had jumped into his car, literally, and drove off. He went back to his dorm room. It was now half empty. He had already moved most of his stuff out to an apartment he had rented for college.

'Mizuki… that was Mizuki.' He kept telling himself. 'She looked different. Blond. I don't like it.' He told himself as he rocked back and forth while sitting on his homework chair. It was strange seeing her after all of that time.

She had run away first. He only did the same. Makoto had always thought about what he would do if he one day saw her at the grocery store or something. He had been planning to make her play the guilt trip. He had been planning to show her exactly how much she had ruined his and the life of others by leaving.

But he panicked. He didn't tell her how Kayashima was mysteriously murdered in her old dorm room. He had finally got the old ghost in her room to tell him who did it and the murderer new and killed him. He didn't tell her how if she had been in that room the creepy kid would still be living today.

He didn't tell her how Nakatsu had been kicked off the soccer team for missing too many practices to look for her. Nakatsu was the only one who never gave up searching. Now he was an alcoholic at age 18. Failing all of his classes and without the one thing he had based most of his life on, ever since his deceased father gave him his first soccer ball at age 3.

He didn't tell her how Sano became some creepy guy who slept with a different woman each night. Each time pretending that it was Mizuki and that it was that one night that he hadn't able to make love to her.

She had left lives for the ruins when she had left. And now he found her. A year later he found her and wasn't even able to tell her any of that. But most of all he hadn't been able to tell her what she had to him for leaving.

He liked to believe that she had caused him the worst pain. After all he did go clinically insane for 6 months. Her departure and caused him physical pain his heart. It actually hurt him that she was gone.

And then soon after his parents and last living sister got into a car crash. They were coming to see him. No one survived the accident. When he didn't feel the pain that he had when Mizuki left he started to inflict it upon himself.

He couldn't take small blades and make small cuts himself, no, because that would be the girly thing to do. Instead he took kitchen knife and made large scars upon himself. Sometimes the cuts were so long they measured to a length longer then his own height. And sometimes he cut himself so deep he bled until he passed out. He became paranoid and didn't sleep.

Even the most scornful teachers noticed his odd behavior in class. He wrote 100 page essays on the way his wound would be inflicted, bleed, and then how he would keep it out so it never healed over.

He was forced to go to the doctor's office to see if he really had done to himself what he wrote about. And sure enough that found too many scars to count. Some were from when he had been cut up before the track meet, others were more recent. Some had, had a knife stuck into them after being made repeatedly to slow the healing process and cause even more pain.

He had been sent to a mental institution where doctors tried to uncover his strange behavior. In all his sessions talking to a physiatrist he had never uttered Mizuki's name. He talked about his sisters', his parents, and Sano but never Mizuki.

She was too good to be talked about to a person who thought they could uncover the things that made him tick. That's when he discovered that somewhere along the road he had fallen deeply in love with her.

The realization had made him wanted to scream and shout in happiness. But then he remembered that she was gone. She was in love with a girl who was just plain old gone.

Of course the physiatrist's had taken apart every part of his life and analyzed it. That had taken him and broken him. In his first session he had been cocky and rude to everyone who tried to get in his head. But then they managed to get inside of him. They broke his spirit and the only thing that he had left was the twitchy loner he had always hid from the world.

And of course he still had Mizuki. He had never spoken about her so they were never able to take her away from him. But then again she wasn't really there now was she. It was a bitter sweet mockery.

It's kind of funny. I was really sad when I started to write this. (Something happened in gym that broke my happiness for awhile. I'm not sure what it was yet.) But then 3 sentences into the story I stopped writing and looked up sad songs online. I didn't find any good ones but I got happy in the process. And the songs that Mikey sung to Mizuki aren't real songs. I just made them up. You can probably tell because they sound like shit but whatever. I wanted either the most depressing song ever to put in to this story or just some song I made up. And I made up two. Huffah! Please review friends!


	14. Her heart was breaking

I love reviews, I like the ones that compliment a lot… but I really don't mind flames if someone decides not to review cause they think they'll hurt my feelings. I like flames; I think it's weird that not too many people bother to send them. They're really helpful. Oh yeah and happy belated Halloween! (I know I'm late.)

Disclaimer- Me own nothing. If want check pockets. Empty…

Ann walked right into Mia's office. She didn't bother to turn on the lights or look around. It was morning and she was pissed off. Mikey hadn't retuned any of her calls and now she needed to get the spare key to the bar because Cho had lost his key.

She grabbed it from her boss's desk and turned around. She froze with shock at what she saw. There was Mikey and Mizuki on the couch sleeping! Mizuki was lying on top of him and his arms were around her.

She wasn't sure what to think. A bunch of emotions filled her quickly. But the thing that she felt, more then anything else, was defeat. For about a year she had been trying to make sure Mizuki would steal the only man who had ever loved her away, but now it looks like Mizuki had prevailed.

She couldn't look at the two of them. Chills went up her spine and she felt like she was going to be sick. She couldn't stand being there anymore. She took one last glance at her so called boyfriend.

He looked so attractive in his sleep. She had always thought so. But now with Mizuki in his arms he didn't look so appealing anymore. All the innocence that shows when you're asleep was gone. Her heart was breaking.

She was frozen there for a moment. Hoping that either one of them would wake up and see how much she was hurting. But the two stayed sleeping, unaware of her, who was getting close to tears now.

'You were the only guy.' "You were the only guy who ever loved me. Why?" she whispered. She saw Mikey start to stir. She wanted him to see her; she wanted him to see her pain but something inside of her made her run.

She ran out of the office and then out of the bar completely. She heard Cho yell after her but she didn't care. He could just look into Mia's office and see for himself. She sure as hell wasn't going to let him feel sorry for her.

She went straight into the home she and Mikey had shared for so long now. She left the lights off, if there was something here to break her heart too, she didn't want to see it. She felt the hot tear fall from her eyes.

'He said that he loved me. He said that he would kill the man who broke my heart.' She told herself. 'But in that same song, didn't he say that he would be the one to hurt me the most?' she argued with herself. 'Mikey said that he just added that part for irony. He swore he would never hurt me!'

She found herself weeping even harder as she kept on fighting with herself. Finally she couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't one to go down without a fight. She wasn't one to get hurt and not do something about it.

She went over to her dresser. She pulled out some papers that she had hidden underneath some cloth. They were all love notes from her "beloved". There was not doubt in her mind that Mikey had cheated on her. She knew that he had, had a crush on Mizuki for a long time.

There were a total of 4 letters. She bit her lip reading them. That were all romantic little poems that he had never been able to say to her out loud because of his stutter. For some reason she sort of wished it had never gotten better. When he finally was able to control his stutter he no longer felt the need to write her little poems or notes, he also felt no need to say them out loud either.

She picked up her own pen and started to write on a new piece of paper. She bit her lip, what should she say to him? Nothing seemed powerful enough at the moment. There was only what she felt.

I got to admit. I never thought this would happen. I guess I was just stupid to think that this could have gone on much longer. I mean why would you still want to be with me? I only gave you my very heart on a platter. And now you have thrown it back in my face. I knew that you no longer loved me but I guess to see the very proof right there in front of me was too much. I ran, I cried, and now I'm not sure what I'll do. I want you to walk through that door and look at me like I'm the only one for you. But you don't know I'm here and you don't know my pain. I know this has probably happened to a million people before me and will happen to a million after but it doesn't make it hurt less. I think it only makes it hurt worse because I thought that you would never be one of those guys. Well I guess that just means that I you have proved me wrong for the hundredth time. I think it was just my imagination but I think I saw your hand on her ass last week. I guess that should have set me off but I was too busy thinking the best of you. I thought that you were mine and mine only. Guess it turns out you were really hers. I feel cold. I can't help the goose bumps that keep on covering my body. I think I'm gonna cry again. But then again I never really did stop. Damn it Mikey! Why! I always thought you were the one! I kissed you as my first. I slept with you as my first. I loved you as my first. Couldn't you have at least told me that there was someone else? Couldn't you just tell me that your heart has slipped through my clumsy fingers? Maybe I think this because it happened to me but seeing you there with her was worse then any break up you could have come up with. I guess this letter is meant to tell you how I feel. But now I just guess it is a goodbye. I would break if I saw you and her again. I'm broken now but that would just be too hard to imagine. Please don't look for me. I doubt that you would truly want to. I need to nurse my wounds away from you. I need to live the rest of my life away from you. Why won't you come through those doors and stop me? Please Mikey, stop me. Claim me as yours for now and forever.

Ann

Her tears dropped onto the paper. She folded it and placed it on his side on there bed. She kissed the paper, kissed him, saying goodbye to him forever.

Truthfully? Ann and Mikey are characters based off of people I go to school with. Ann is a girl that I've known since… 2nd grade I think. And Mikey is based off of a guy named Mikey you is a hockey player. The two aren't going out in reality. But the Mikey used to have this joke about stuttering that he would always say last year that gave me the idea for this Mikey's stutter. And the girl Ann is based off of is a really strong person, she has this look that makes you think she's really mean but if you've known her for a long time you know she really isn't. I just thought I would add that part for some reason… oh well please review!


	15. Good from the bad

This is my longest story ever! It beats "Back Home" by 1 chapter so far. 

Disclaimer- And I'm gonna skip this part. I have run out of creative ways to say that I don't own Hana-Kimi.

Mikey awoke seeing a blur of a person run right out the door. It took him a brief second to register his surroundings. It took him another second to register that it was not Ann sleeping on top of him on the couch.

He almost jumped when he realized it was Mizuki. 'We must have fallen asleep. No big deal.' He thought even as his cheeks filled with a bright red color. 'I mean it's not like we did anything wrong. We both still have out cloths on and I know I wasn't drunk last night…'

Mizuki awoke without him even noticing. She didn't seem a bit embarrassed about there positioning and didn't seem to even care. She smiled up at him. "Good morning." She quietly whispered.

"Oh. M-M-Morning." He managed to stutter. She didn't even notice. "You're really red Mikey. Is something wrong?" she asked oblivious. He shook his head, not trusting his voice at the moment.

She took his hands that were pinned to his side and wrapped them around her. She placed on hand around her waist and the other on her ass. She buried her head into his chest not looking at his even redder face.

"You have a great voice. How come I've never heard you sing before last night?" he moved his hands from where she had put them and back to his sides. She just sighed. "I used to want to be a singer. I went to audition to be in a band once. They liked my voice when I sang but not so much when I spoke. They said they needed someone who could talk like they could sing. I quit singing then."

'Ann was with me for the audition. She wanted to beat all of those guys for what they said. I remember holding her back and ten going home. I sang her to sleep that night for the last time. And now I just sang Mizuki to sleep. I feel like I've just cheated on Ann.'

It was the worst feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to push it away. "C-can you please get off of me?" he asked feeling a bit nervous again. (He only stutters when he is embarrassed or nervous just to let you know.)

She pouted looking him in the face again. "Do you like me Mikey?" her question caught him off guard. 'Like? No I don't like you. I think I love you.' "Of course, you're a great friend." She shook her head. "You know the way that I mean. Do you like me the way you like Ann? I'm talking about the way that makes that bulge in your pants."

'Never. I could never compare the two of you!' "Mizuki, please get off of me." He said sternly. He didn't like her questions. She obeyed. He stood up as she sat back down on the couch.

"Aren't you going to answer my question?" she asked getting a little bit annoyed. "You know what you just asked was way out of line. Mizuki, you have nor right to ask me things like that. Last night you were hurt so I tried to help you. If you think that acting like some dumb slut is a way to repay me, you can just forget that I ever tried to be nice to you in the first place."

She seemed a little shocked but then just nodded. "I have a problem with going too far or not going at all." She confessed. 'Ever since Sano raped me I've been doing this. It's not fair. I'm the one who always gets hurt because of it.'

"Look, I'm sorry but me and Ann, there's something between us that I could never have with anyone else. She's been hurt before, she's been hurt a lot and still she has taken care of me for the longest time. There's a love between us that doesn't exist anywhere else. We're the ones who were hurt and found comfort with each other."

Mizuki could only stare for a moment. She wasn't used to her friend being so serious. "I've been hurt too." She started almost crying again. "How come there's no one there for me?" she asked him almost pathetically.

"He's out there Mize. Don't worry." He sat down next to her. They both sat there for a few minuets in silence. "So, who was that guy from yesterday?" he finally asked breaking the silence.

A grim smile appeared on her face. "He used to be my friend. It was a long time ago. I guess that when I left that day and ended up here I must have hurt him. He ran away from me this time. I guess it's hard to get a taste of your own medicine."

Mikey still didn't understand something. "But I don't get it. Why did you leave in the first place?" 'You knew that someone was going o ask you this sooner or later.' she told herself. 'Maybe it's finally time to confess all the wrongs I have done and all the wrongs done against me.'

She sighed. "It's a long story." He smiled. "I have the time. Cho and Ann are running the bar today." "Well there are some things about me that you might find hard to believe." She told him warningly. "Try me." He teased. 'You're asking for it tough guy.' She thought smirking to herself.

"Well it all when high school began. That's when I came here from America. But I didn't come to Japan as the girl you see now. In order to be with the guy I had a major crush on I pretended to be a boy and go to his all boy school." She looked to see his response but he wasn't showing any emotions on his face. He was holding it all in until the very end.

"Well me and my crush turned out to be roommates if you can believe me luck. I soon fell in love with him because that's what I do. I fall in love. But I was so convinced we couldn't be together because he didn't know I was a girl. Well about a year ago he was in a high jumping competition and his biggest adversary was attacked in the parking lot.

"That was the guy from yesterday. My crush won the competition as my friend was in the hospital being treated. We were al supposed to go celebrate but I thought I should visit my friend first. To make sure he was okay, you know? Well I ended up sneaking him out of the hospital.

"We went our separate ways and I went to the bar where my crush was celebrating. He's not a good drinker. Just the tiniest sip of alcohol and he's drunk. Well he was really drunk by the time I got there. He had said some things to my other friend to make him want to go home early and it was only me and him."

Mikey could tell some thing bad was going to happen. But this was Mizuki's story he had to listen until she was done. No matter how horrible the story gets.

"He told me that he knew I was a girl and carried me back to the dorm. He was strong, I couldn't fight him. He raped me and then passed out." She shivered. The last time she had told her story was so long ago and she had never said it in such detail as she was now.

"A hell of a first time." she joked but her friend missed the humor. I ran to my friend who was here last night. He took care of me until the next morning while I ran away from him." "Is that while you came here?" Mikey asked speaking compassionately.

She shook her head. "No I actually ended up in some prostitute house." She read his face and laughed. "Don worry no one touched me. I was asleep most of the time until two of my friends came to get me. I still don't know how they found me. I was just too beat to care.

"They got me out of there and then I remember going back to my old school. My friend who my crush had hurt with his words led me into his dorm room. He told me I could stay with him while his roommate stayed with my crush. It was working out for me. My crush hadn't been there at all at first. Then I learned that he was into the hospital. I had to go visit him. I guess that's where I went wrong.

"I blamed the friend who was here last night for everything that happened. I asked my crush to make love to me the right way. He couldn't. I got mad and ran way. The rest I think you know." He nodded.

"You came here and Mia gave you a job and the apartment upstairs." She nodded. Talking about it had actually helped her unlike a year of trying to forget what had happened. "When I saw him last night I wanted him to know it was me and that I was here. When he finally recognized me he just left. I don't really blame him."

"You're too hard on yourself. Things happen for a reason. Everything that you do has a master plan behind it. Do you think you can imagine this past year try8ing to get through classes and keep away from your rapist?"

She shook her head. "I guess you guys are a good thing that happened from a bad thing." She sighed. "I think that it's time I go now. I need to shower and stuff." She nodded. "Yeah me too." They both said there goodbyes and parted at the door.

Cho greeted them both. Mikey went straight to leave but Mizuki stayed behind for a little. "So where's Mia and Ann?" she asked sitting on a stool. "Mia had other things to do and Ann just ran out of here for no reason. She said she was going to get the key to the bar but then she just ran out of here with no explanation. She did leave the key behind though."

'That's weird.' Mizuki thought. "I wonder why she ran away."

Someone suggested that Mizuki and Ann fight. It would be a funny concept but alas I think not. Please review! And for those two of you that did I thank you. But for the rest, if there are any others, I am angry with. Humph!


	16. There is no Mikey without Ann

This is really surprising but Hana-Kimi is no longer my favorite manga. I never thought anything would beat it but Ouran High School Host Club did. Hunny is just too cute for words!

Disclaimer- Before writing fan fiction I didn't know how to spell disclaimer. And now I'm a pro because I type it so often. I don't own Hana- Kimi.

Mikey went straight back to his apartment. When he got back it felt weird. Sort of as if something was horribly wrong. He shrugged off the feeling. He kept on forgetting that Ann was at work because he hadn't seen here while leaving.

But it was all the better that he had not seen her. He knew that she would have taken it the wrong way I she had seen Mizuki and him leaving Mia's office in the same cloth as yesterday. She would assume the worst even though nothing had happened.

He slipped into the shower thinking over the newest information about his secret love. She was right. She had been hurt. He couldn't help but think about how the man from yesterday thought about seeing her after all this time.

For some reason he thought that running away ways a horrible thing to do but he could understand. The way that he had looked at Mizuki, he remembered from spying on the two with Mia, he had looked at her in a way he knew so well.

It was a look of pain and love. A deadly combination that is the source of most pain. Mikey had experienced the same feeling, he was sure everyone had at least once. He knew that Mizuki couldn't tell how the man in front of her was feeling. But she felt the same exact thing when he left in such a hurry. 'They both are in pain. Maybe he is who Mizuki had been asking for earlier. Maybe he is the one who she can share a love with that no one else has ever known. Like me and Ann.'

Mikey stepped out of the shower with his towel wrapped around his waist. He walked into the room he and Ann shared and started to get dressed. He noticed that some of her drawers had been disturbed. 'She always puts her stuff away.'

He was curious and looked into the drawer. There was a bunch of her cloth moved out of one area, as if she had gotten a hidden object. (Oh ho ho!) He looked around the room when he saw it.

A letter sitting so innocently on top of the covers of his bed. He sat down and opened the letter. He was sitting there only in his boxers reading the letter. At first he thought that it would be on of those romantic things he used to send her but he was wrong.

Horror showed on his face as he read. There were tear stains on the paper. He wanted this to be some kind of joke. 'Ann must have seen us while we were still asleep. Dammit! I knew that I had seen someone leaving when I woke up.' He thought feeling sick.

Mikey grabbed his stomach. Her word hurt like daggers to his heart. The fact that she was feeling such pan because of him brought tears to his eyes. 'The song… _And now I hold this knife to my throat, turns out that it was me all along. _I hurt her. It was me.'

He quickly got dressed. He thought that maybe she would be somewhere waiting for him. Waiting to see if he really loved her or not. He had no clue to where she might be but knew that he had to find her. He was nothing without her. There was no Mikey without Ann.

Before he left he took the letter and wanted to throw it away. But when he looked into the trash can he found his old love notes. All had been frantically torn apart. He kept the letter with him in his pocket. This was too much.

He made his way to the bar at record speed. He needed for her to be there. He needed to see that she wasn't truly gone. He found only Cho. The comedian looked at him as if h looked like hell. The truth is that he probably did. His face was never any good at hiding any signs of distress.

"Ann?" he asked frantically to his fellow bartender. Cho shook his head. "She left before you and Mizuki. Is something wrong?" Mikey was pacing. He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so badly but didn't.

"Mikey? Mikey! What's wrong?" Hid friend asked with deep concern stepping out from behind the counter. "She's gone Cho. She's gone." The other man didn't understand. "Are you talking about Ann?"

Mikey nodded his head frantically. His hair didn't move it was still wet from his shower. "I don't know where she is. I hurt her real bad Cho, real bad." his friend held a solemn expression on his face.

"What happened?" is all he asked. His hand automatically went to his pocket to show him the letter but then stopped. 'I can't show him this. This is Ann's pain. I can't show anyone this.' "Me and Mizuki fell asleep on Mia's couch. I think she walked in on us sleeping today and left."

He knew what Cho was thinking. "Nothing happened between us last night. Ann, I need Ann." He was sitting on the floor now leaning back against the bar. He couldn't help it, he cried.

'Be a man! Stop crying and go look for her you pathetic excuse for a man!' he kept on yelling at himself. 'But it hurts so much. Her pain is my pain. It always has been and always will be. I can't stand to loose her.' 'Then get off your ass and go get her.'

He nodded to himself and dried his tears before Cho could even think of something comforting to say. He ran right out of the bar. There was no time to waist. Ann had about half an hour to get anywhere. He had to be fast if he ever hopped of finding her.

He checked all of the bus stations and subways first. Then he tried the trains and airports. There was not trace of her anywhere. He looked in all of her favorite places but no one had seen her. It was as if she had just not only tried to leave his life but also the world as well.

He spent hours of non stop searching without even a hint of where she could be. It had started to rain but even then his efforts did not cease. If anything he was trying harder to find her the more time passed.

He sat down on a bench to think of where she could be. 'I've looked everywhere. When she doesn't want to be found she isn't found. She's proved that saying right to so many people but I've always been able to get to her no matter what. Why can't I get to her now? When it matters most?'

He thought about all those times when he would find her hiding in the secret space in her closet of her old house. Then it hit him. She was there. She had to be. That was the only place where she ever felt like nothing could reach her.

As he ran off to her old abandoned home he was picturing her the first time they ever saw each other out of school. They had been young then. Probably 11 or 12 years.

Her mother wanted Ann to make more friends so she held a part for her daughter without even asking who to invite. Her mother only invited the kids of which had parents she found acceptable.

He had only been invited because none of the kids wanted to go and someone gave him there invitation saying that he would fit right I with Ann. When he got to her home her mother wasn't exactly friendly with him.

FLASHBACK

The door opened slowly and he saw a beautiful woman in her early 30's open the door. "H-Hello." He managed to say smiling. When she didn't smile back or open the door anymore he cursed himself. 'It's the stutter. She thinks I'm a freak like the rest of them! I hate myself!' he thought bitterly.

"What do you want?" the woman asked rudely. "I-I-I-I'm h-here for the p-party." He didn't want to say more. 'Please don't make me say more!' she looked at him and laughed. "You? My little Ann doesn't associate with low life like you. How did you get invited?"

He felt hurt but still showed her the invitation from his pocket. "Whatever. Don't touch any of my stuff and don't bug the other guests." She ordered as she let him in her home. They had a huge house. It was all decorated or a party.

He walked into a room where everyone else was. There was food, music, and kids talking amongst themselves. He tried o do as he had been told. He didn't touch anything, not even the food and didn't talk to the other guests at first.

He noticed Ann wasn't there. This was her party wasn't it? Where was she? He walked up to one of the popular boys who lived next door and had been forced to come. "W-Where's Ann?" he asked. Please review!

The other boy laughed. "Ann? Why is she your girlfriend or something?" Mikey shook his head. He thought Ann was really pretty and misunderstood but she never talked to him. She never talked to anyone.

"She's missing. When Ann disappears no one can find her. But knock your self out." Mikey nodded. "I w-w-will thank you." He went off and started to search for the hostess. She wasn't on the part floor where everyone else was.

He climbed up the large stairs and decided she would be up there. He didn't call her name in fear that her mean mother would be up there and find him in a part of her home he shouldn't be in.

He walked right into a large room that was painted a soft yellow. It looked o belong to a child and as far as he knew Ann was an only child. He looked around the room and saw no one.

But he new that she was in there. He turned to the closet that was closed all of the way. He opened it a little only to see that it was practically empty. He stepped right in. he took a few steps to his right and saw something that wasn't right. There was a missing part in the wall.

He put his fingers in the space between the two walls. He could have sworn that he had heard a slight gasp. He pushed against the wall and to his surprise it moved with ease. And there she was.

Ann was sitting on the floor in the secret room in her closet crying. She starred up at him in amazement. "What are you doing here?" she asked with disbelief that anyone had found her. No one had ever found her before.

"H-H-H-Hello Ann. I-I was just wondering w-why you w-weren't at your p-party." She shook her head angrily. Her brown hair flew all over the place. She was wearing a cute little dress that he could tell her mother made her wear.

"It's not my party. Why would I want those jerks at my house? They hate me." Mikey sat down across from her. Halfway in the closet, halfway in the secret room. "T-That's not t-true!" she gave him an evil glare.

"Yes it is. Just because my dad left when I was little they don't like me." The two children sat there in silence for a moment. "I-I like you."

END FLASHABCK

They never talked about her secret place after that. But that's when Ann started to stick up for him when the other kids teased him for his stutter. Her mother had never approved of there friendship and then later dating. But that's why Ann moved out of her home and with him in high school.

He reached her old house. It still looked the same way it had when he first entered it all those years ago, intimidating. The door was already partly opened. Even though he knew her mother had moved out long ago he was still expecting her to be there when he entered. But instead he got this strange feeling. He rushed up to her. He knew that Ann was here.

Sorry there really wasn't any Mizuki or other character from Hana-Kimi in this chapter. I promise that the will be in the next chapter.


	17. Completely diffrent

This was a sweet week. No school Tuesday or Thursday and a half day on Friday. Now if only I had something to do with all that time off…

Disclaimer- I don't own Hana-Kimi. shock Yes, yes I know. It must be a very big surprise that I do not own it. –rolls eyes-

Kagurazaka was ready to leave. He was going to move the rest of his stuff into his new apartment. He couldn't stand hid dorm anymore. Everything reminded him of Mizuki, he didn't want to go back to that place of sadness so he just decided to leave.

It didn't take long to get there. It was a 15 minuet drive at the most. Most of his stuff had already been organized all he had to do was put the rest of his cloth away and this place would be ready for living.

He decided to do the task later on. He couldn't get Mizuki off of his mind. He fought of the urge to cut himself. 'I stopped that. I won't do it again. She can't make me go back!' he thought to himself as his hands started to twitch.

'Maybe I should go and see her. I mean, maybe seeing her will stop all of these things in my mind. Yeah, I should go and see her.' He stood up and started to go towards the door when he passed by a mirror.

He stopped and starred at his reflection. "She doesn't know me like this. I can't let her see me like this." He went into the bathroom and opened a new pack of plastic combs. He combed his hair and washed his face so he looked more presentable.

'When I see her I have to be strong. I have to be like the old me.' He told himself as he walked out to his car. He found that his car finally let him the shut the door for the first time with ease.

On the drive over he remained calm and strong. He showed no expression on his face. He was that 17 year old kid now. He parked across the street from the bar like he had the night before.

He walked into the bar with complete confidence. It was early in the day so he wasn't surprised that there were no customers. He strode over to the bar where he was a bar tender reading a book on making people laugh.

The chubby bartender looked up from his book when Kagurazaka was right in front of him. He gave him a smile. "A bit early to be drinking isn't it?" "Then why do you have the bar open so early?" the bartender nodded smiling. "Good question. What can I get you?"

Makoto shook his head. "I'm not here to drink, too early. But I was looking for a girl." The man opposite of him smiled, as if he had ever stopped. "Sorry but there's only me here as you can see."

He shook his head. "No, last night there was a girl here bartending named Mizuki Ashiya. Do you think that you could tell me where she is?" The smiley man nodded. "She lives right above this place. But if she asks, Mikey told you she lives there." Kagurazaka was a bit confused. 'Is he Mikey? Why would he want Mizuki to know that he let me know where she lives? Oh well.'

The bartender who was supposedly Mikey, (It's really Cho,) led him to the stair case. He thanked the peculiar man and went up to see Mizuki. As he walked up the stairs he made sure he didn't think of anything that would let him loose his composure. He tried to concentrate on his breathing but the idea was just so stupid he fought back the urge to laugh.

He knocked on a wooden door at the top of the stairs. The wood was covered with photos; most of them had been taken in the bar. There was the bartender from a few minuets ago and the one from yesterday, Mizuki and some other people he didn't know.

He heard a familiar voice tell him it was open from the other side of the door a few seconds after he knocked. He let himself into her home. Shutting the door behind him he took survey of his surroundings.

Her place was green, not ugly barf green but more like neon. The carpet was white shag and there was mostly wood furniture. 'This place must have already been furnished when she move in. Green used to make her head spin.'

"Hello." He called into the room, he couldn't see her anywhere. He heard a crash from another room and without thinking rushed off to see what was wrong. He found Mizuki in the kitchen picking up broken pieces of glass, cursing to herself.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" he asked helping her. She looked up at him and swore again. "I thought I heard your voice. I didn't think that you were actually here." 'What the hell is that supposed to mean?' he wondered to himself.

"What are you doing here?" she asked throwing away the glass in the garbage. "I nee… wanted to see you." He stopped himself from saying "needed". He didn't need her, and if he did he sure as hell didn't want her to know that. She didn't even notice.

"Who told you I live here?" she asked him examining a cut on her finger. He offered to help but she shook him away. "The bartender downstairs told me to say Mikey told me." She gave a deep sigh and muttered "Cho" underneath her breath just so faintly he almost didn't hear her.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned as soon as she started pacing muttering a trail of swears even a pirate couldn't match with holding her finger. He didn't even know what happened but before he knew it he was stopping her and taking a good look at her finger.

He led her to the sink and washed off the blood and wrapped a paper towel around her wound. She starred up at him with eyes unreadable. He remembered the night she had came to his dorm room and had such fear and pain in her eyes. 'I guess some people just know how to move on.'

"Look, what do you want from me! Yesterday you left and I understood that. What do you want to say to me? I know that leaving was wrong. I know I probably hurt you guys but…" "But you don't even know the half of it." He spat coldly.

She stopped talking and just starred for a moment. "You really have changed this past year." He sighed. "I can say the same for you. We all changed I guess." She bit her lip; she wanted to ask but didn't know if she should or even if she would want to know.

As if he read her mind he said, "All your old buddies aren't doing so good without you." "What? Oh, well they can't be doing that badly…" she was cut off by his cold laugh. "Doing too badly? I'm guessing you don't read the paper here do you."

She looked at him confused. "I don't have time to read the paper. Why? What happened." He didn't hesitate. He wanted her to know. "Kagurazaka is dead." She looked to the ground instantly and then back at him.

"How?" Seeing her remorse made Kagurazaka rethink wanting to tell her everything. "Dammit Kagurazaka, how!" "Murdered, in your old dorm room. It was a couple months after you two switched rooms."

She looked like she was about to cry but then she quickly pulled herself together and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry." He was a bit taken back by her apology. "He wasn't my friend Mizuki, he was yours. Hell, I didn't even know the guy." She shook her head. "What about Nakatsu and the others?"

"As far was I know the others you hung out with are fine, except for Nakatsu and Sano." "They can't be dead too." She was trying so hard not to burst into tears. He shook his head. "No honey, there fate is worse then the dead. Nakatsu is a ragging alcoholic. He got kicked off the soccer team and hasn't been the same since."

She felt a bit guilty because she had avoided all sports since leaving because she knew her old friends would be there. "And what about Sano." He noted no anger in her voice. Why is it that she wasn't angry at Sano but was at him?

He rethought telling her but she was being way too damn persistent. "He fucks a different whore every night. I'm pretty sure he's thinking of you the whole time." She was hurt. This is what he had wanted. This is what he had needed. "Get out." But why couldn't he get the right kind of satisfaction from all of this?

"Get out!" she screamed. He didn't budge. "But I'm not done Mizuki." She couldn't help it, tears fell from he eyes. "I don't want to hear it! You're sick! I don't want to hear anything from you."

She was trying to push him but he was stronger and she couldn't move him. "That's just like you. And here I thought you had changed. It's still Sano and no one else for you. You dint care about anyone else, you never have." He kept his voice low and calm, all the menacing.

She stopped trying to move him. "What are you talking about? I don't care abut him anymore. He raped me? Why would I still want him?" Makoto shook his head. "You still love him. The people who hurt you the most are the ones you love the most. I mean I should know."

They had some how ended up in the green living room. "What are you talking about?" he hadn't even realized that he had said that out loud until she asked him again. "I fell in love with you Mizuki, I have the scars to prove it."

She fell back onto the large puffy couch in a daze. "Well I guess no answer is better then a heart breaking one." Kagurazaka joked to himself but she didn't laugh. She curled into a little ball on the couch and started to cry, either that or she was laughing at him.

"I guess I shouldn't have come here." he sighed and headed for the door but she stooped him. "Wait!" she called, still on the couch. He turned around and starred at her as she ran to him.

"What if I say that I love you too?" he smiled sweetly. "I would say that you might want to but actually being in love is completely different. Bye Mizuki, I'm sorry for disturbing you." And just like that he left.

And this is my 17th chapter! Yay! Please review because you obviously just finished reading! 


	18. This can't be the end

**!IMPORTANT: **Okay, in the past I have just let this go but not this time! I'm sorry for my bad spelling and the mistake with Kayashima and Kagurazaka's name but I would appreciate it if reviews would stop centering on spelling. I mean if I got flames I would totally not care but I don't, it's just constant complaining about spelling, which slowly starts to add up. I would please, just like to ask people to stop reviewing about my spelling. I'm human and I make mistakes, apparently a lot of them. I try but I don't write fan fiction worrying about my spelling. I mean isn't it supposed to just be about the story and a new way of seeing your favorite show and or manga in different context? I don't believe that people should care so much about my typos; it's the story that counts. And plus it's impossible to edit your own story (my language arts teacher backs me up here) and I don't like the idea of others editing it… So I would just like to thank my reviewers and just please ask for people to lighten up about the spelling. Thanks, always.

Disclaimer- Fan fiction, hear that? Not author fiction, fan fiction!

Mikey rushed into the old home. It had been many years since he had last stepped foot into the building. He remembered the day so clearly. There had been heartbreak and tears that day.

Ann had never suffered more then that one day when he stole her away from her old life. He told her that she would never have to feel such pain again as her mother disowned her. But know he isn't sure if he had been dishonest back then.

He ran into her old bedroom, still the same as the day he had first stepped into it, minus the dust. Even from the doorway he could hear her sobs. She was crying so hard, it broke his heart a million times over just to hear the sound.

He slowly went to the closet and then to the secret door. He went to open it but the floor beneath him let out a loud squeak. The door flew open in that same instant. Ann was on the other side, tear stained face and a gaze of pain and hate.

"Ann!" he called out to her. "When I got your letter, oh Ann I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else to say. She was hurting and he could do nothing about it, he hated not being able to do nothing. He found himself on his knees.

"Why are you here?" she asked not removing her eyes from his. "I knew you would be here. I had to tell you that…" "Tell me what? Tell me that you're so sorry that I had to see the two of you? Tell me that you're so sorry that you got caught?"

He looked to the ground. "You know I'm not like that. I would never hurt you baby." She laughed mockingly. "Well too late baby. I'm already hurt." "Nothing happened! We fell asleep on the couch."

She shook her head. "How stupid do you think I am Mikey? I know that you liked Mizuki even before you did. You didn't just fall asleep. She's evil and she wants you! And you just made it that much simpler for her to have you!"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Evil? Ann, listen to yourself. Mizuki isn't evil! She's had hard times too. You know, more then anyone that after something terrible happens you need someone to love."

Tears slid from her eyes as she spoke. "Is that what you did Mikey? Were you that person for her to love?" she was accusing. But he couldn't blame her. If he were in her position he didn't even know how he would handle it.

"That's not what I meant. You're the only girl that I love." Even as those words left his mouth he wished he hadn't said them. They were lies. He loved them both and telling her that was a horrible thing to do.

"Well you can love me all you want, I hate you and I never want to see you ever again." Her voice was calm and even. She tried to push past him in the narrow room but couldn't. "Move Mikey." "No, I won't let you go like this."

It hurt her even more that he was trying to hold her in his arms. Trying to get her to forgive him. She wanted to, she wanted to so badly but couldn't. His very touch was revolting. "It's over. You made your choice and now I've made mine." Her voice shook, he knew she was breaking.

He rested his head on her shoulder. She could feel his breath on her bare neck. She started to shake, 'Why isn't he letting me go? I wanted so badly for him to hold on to me like this. But I can't just let him win. He's been the only one that I've let myself truly love and he's broken my heart like all the others! I can't let him win.'

"Please, let me pass." There was nothing more in the world that she wanted to do then stay with him frozen in that moment but she found herself begging until she cried for him to let go.

"I'll never let you go. You're the one. I know that now. It wouldn't hurt so much if you weren't." Her eyes widened and she pushed him away. Her sudden actions made him fall down.

"What…?" "You bastered." Her eyes here filled with disgust and the tears quickly dried away. "I'm the one because it wouldn't hurt so much if I wasn't? Do you listen to yourself? You stay the fuck away from me!" she stepped over him running away.

"Damn!" he cursed punching the wall before running after her. He caught up with her in the front lawn. "Ann! Ann wait!" he called out to her but she didn't turn around. He found no other choice but to do what he did, he tackled her. (lol!)

She didn't even know what hit her until she found herself lying on the grass with Mikey sitting right on top of her. They were both trying to catch there breath. "What, the hell?" he knew that she was going to say more but cut her off by kissing her.

When he pulled away his face was greeted with a harsh slap to the face. "Get off!" she screamed but he wouldn't listen. "I'm not getting off of you Ann. You're stubborn, I understand that but I won't get off of you until you believe me that nothing happened between me and Mizuki. Even if we're stuck like this until the end of time I'll do it dammit!"

They didn't even notice that it had stared to rain. "Mikey, either you get off or I'll scream. You know I will." He shook his head, there was no way she could threaten him. "Fine then. Rape! Help! Someone, he's trying to rape me!" he put his hand over her mouth and she raised her eyebrows as if to say "see?"

If the neighbors weren't looking at them oddly before they were now. Some elderly men looked towards Mikey and Ann wondering if they should call the police. "Fine, I'll get off" when the two of them were standing again Mikey felt the stinging palm of Ann's hand against his cheek once more.

"What was that for? I got off of you!" she crossed her arms across her chest, just noticing she was wearing a white T-shirt and that it was raining. "That was for everything. Well you can screw Mizuki as much as you want now, I don't care. Fuck the next girl you see for all I care! I gave you my heart before but you can't have it anymore. There is nothing between us but memories now."

She walked away. He could have followed; he wanted to follow but knew it would do no good. He was standing all alone, and wet. 'This can't be the end.'

Okay so I wrote most of this story right after watching the movie Alexander. I got really into it even though the movie wasn't so good and I was sort of picturing Mikey as Alexander and Ann as his mom even though that's sort of wrong... I mean I was picturing the actors that I can't spell there names for anything. So if the story seems a little weird then that's why. Please review, but not if it's about my spelling. ;)


	19. Life goes on after love passes

My teeth hurt. I got to get out of gym class today because of an orthodontist appointment and now my teeth hurt but I guess it's still worth getting out of gym and risk lowering my grade anymore then it is. Gym class is the only reason I didn't get on the all A honor roll last card marking. I was one stupid point from an A-. Oh sorry I'm starting to ramble and when I start to ramble it's very hard for me to stop and I know you people don't care. I mean you're here for the story. –winks-

Disclaimer- If the authors cared if people wrote fan fiction then why would there be like 2 web sites I know of devoted to it? I mean web sites that end with a .net and .org got to be all professional like.

Ann took a deep breath as she stepped onto the train. Her suit cases had been taken by some man who had stored it into the luggage area. Memories of the night before played in her mind. The letter, she still had the letter in her pocket as if to prove that she had once had it all.

She had gone back to her old home with Mikey to get her belongings. When he opened the door and saw her she saw his light up. It was like Christmas and he had gotten exactly what he had always wanted, her.

He had been wearing a black T-shirt that she remembered him wearing the same night they first had sex. It was odd to see him wearing it again. She had always believed that it was lost and long forgotten.

"I'm here for my stuff, I don't want you thinking otherwise." And just like that his face drooped into a depressed look. It looked as if he had been looking that way for a long time, trying to move on but with a lot of struggling.

She instantly had felt horrible. Ever since there confrontation in her home, on her lawn, she had not felt a single piece of regret. When she had been younger and the two of them had just started going out she remembered always thinking that it could be over just like that and that she shouldn't get too attached.

And now that it was all over and she looked at Mikey who had never believed it would end she was glad she had kept on telling herself those words. 'He cheated; you can't feel sorry for him.' She had reminded herself.

She remembered pushing past him and into her old home. He smelt like a bonfire, a smell she had always adored growing up but didn't comment. His gaze was burning into the back of her head as she went to collect all of her things. He had kept things the same way she had left them, as if he was just waiting for her to get back from work.

He didn't say a word to her until she was about to leave. She remembered feeling his arms wrap around her waist and his head rest on her shoulder. She had quickly turned around freeing herself from his loose grasp.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly after seeing his face. There was such a sadness on it like she had never known him to show. For all time she had known him he had been very emotional but never once did he cry right in front of her. Ata that moment she had thought that's what he would do but he kept it all in and smiled.

"Just a goodbye hug. I love you Ann. Never forget that, ever." She nodded not knowing what else to do. when she left she stayed out by the door for a moment trying to keep his smell in the air a but longer.

It was completely silent on the other side of the door except for some quiet music. She knew that song; it was what he always played too drawn out the sound of him crying. It was as if he knew she was out there listening.

As she got up from leaning against the wall, stopping her efforts to hear his song or smell his smell, she heard something crinkle in her pocket. Not remembering having put anything in there she checked it out and found a note labeled: Mikey to Ann.

When she opened it at the train station some pictures she had thought he put away from good fell out. Ones of her and him from childhood to the most recent earlier that year. They brought a smile to her face as he knew they would.

She began to read his letter to her, hoping that there was nothing in it to make her cry. She had been doing too much of that and swore if he mad her do it again she would punch him in the face.

_Hey Ann. _

_Remember when we broke up in high school? I know I'll never forget. It was the worst time of my life, or that's what I thought back then. I remember hearing that you had started dating that Yuki guy from a couple of the school gossips. I felt like someone had torn out my heart and put it in a blender. Not a pretty image. And then when he broke up with you for that slut from France. When I first heard the news I couldn't have been happier. And then I saw you in the hallway, red eyes and all. I wanted to kill that jerk for breaking up with you. No one could hurt you, you were my love. When we got back together I remember making sure that no one gave you a funny look or talked about you behind your back, sort of what you used to do for me when were in elementary school. And now I feel like I failed you. I was suddenly the new Yuki in your life but I didn't want to be. I know that by writing this I won't get you back. I mean hey, what girl stays with a guy that tackles her in order to keep her in his life? I just wanted to say that nothing happened between me and Mizuki. I will admit that I loved her, but no one can replace you in my heart. I told her that and now I'm telling you. You're moving on and I know I will be too but I just don't want you to hate me. Please don't hate me Ann. I think I might die if you did. I don't want to die._

_Love,_

_Mikey ☼_

A sun to tell her that his life would start to continue without her. There was no reason for him to lie, he hadn't cheated. She had just thrown it all away. But she only smiled, maybe if it was really meant to be they would be together again but now she would go on and live a life she never had the option to live. 'If it's meant to be.' She told herself as the train started to move.

Meanwhile Kagurazaka was in his new apartment. He had an entire summer of no school. He thought of dating again, something he hadn't done since the Mizuki incident. He had made his peace with her; it was abut time to move on.

Mizuki was the girl that every guy fell in love with; he was only one of 3 that he knew of. She had so many flaws that drove him crazy but he had still fallen in love her. He still was love-struck with her but he knew that she couldn't be with him.

For one thing, she didn't know what true love was after Sano. She thought she knew but in truth he knew that she was only fooling herself and the other person if she ever did say I love you.

And then there was that whole hero factor she had. She only believed that one man and one man only could save her. If another man tried he would just be brushed off. He knew this from experience.

It wasn't fair but that was what and who she was. If any man could get through those layers of confusion and lies would be impossible to him. He could never do it but he knew that there would be some hopeless romantic out there just waiting to uncover her true heart.

The idea made him smile. One day everyone would be happy and find love. Mizuki, Sano, Nakatsu, and even Kayashima would all be loved. He left himself out of the list of names for one reason, he already had someone to love him all he had to do was go back to Ireland and win her back. Sharon Hicks. (Many, many chapters ago.)

He had really loved her but being with a girl for too long always had made him nervous. It was like he wanted to be more serious, go to the next level, but then got scarred and broke up with her.

Besides Mizuki, Sharon was the only one who he had ever felt that way about. He wondered how weird it would be if just showed up at her home, many miles away trying to win her back from whatever bastered she was probably dating.

He laughed at the thought. It would be something different. Just the thing he needed to waste the summer days. As he thought more and more he knew that everyone was going to move on. Everyone was going to be leaving the formerly strange love triangles that had formed in high school and had lasted this long.

He knew everything that he once thought to be the end of the world would be okay. Life goes on after love passes.

Was that the worst ending in the world or what? I suck at writing endings and most people complain about them when I think there good and this one is bad so I can only imagine you peoples thoughts. Oh and I was actually thinking later on to write 2 other fan fictions off of this one. One explaining this whole Kayashima being happy and another following Kagurazaka on his trip to win Sharon Hicks heart. A girl I totally forgot about and only making this story suck really badly by adding her now… But those won't be written until the stories I want to be written about Gundam Seed and Inuyasha are done. Please review. You can be as mean as you want to be about the ending; I deserve it for making one so horrible.


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